OK - so I have been lame - very lame - in fact lamer that Heather Mills - in more way that one. Can I say that? Yes I can ;-)
So I have to write something since I am getting it from various sources, from my bored friends back in the UK with not much to do except look forward to the next installment of Correy.
I think my excuse for being so tardy in the blogging department may have something to do with the plethora of visitors I have had gracing me with their presence. It all started in June, when Helen came over form London for a 3 week stay. Then Mike came for 10 days, Vicky and her sis, granted only required my expert tour guide skills for a Friday night, than Alistair - who I have known since my 1st day at Uni - Bless - we go back a long time. He left today, and I am finally back on track. Fed up with playinjg with my new super duper PC, and am knuckling down to some serious writing. My book - deep breath will re-commence in a few days - once I have got a my room back to it's clinical normalness, there will be no stopping me.
What have I been up to? - well, apart from 5 trips to Alcatraz, Golden Gate bridge, Twin Peaks at night (city lights and all that), I am a fully fledged member of 24 hour fitness - that's right you read it right. I thought I may actually get fit while looking for a suitor. Decided after 4 swimming sessions that aged, beer bellied Mexicans weren't my cup of tea and have not been back for 6 weeks. Alas, no man, two spare tyres and a lot of unused Nike gear later I must really try and get my ass to the gym. Only for Yoga - which does wonders for the times one does get lucky and laid, and also makes one less embarrassed when popping a cheeky trump out - even the instructor does it. Oh, and swimming - I do like the exclusivity in MY gym - one gets to swim in sea water (gimmick - got me to sign up), you actually get a lane to yourself. By law. It says on a sign clearly posted at the water's edge. If mad Brit seen squeezed into a 4 year old costume jumps in and swims frantically, arms and legs flailing, get out of the pool and immediately congregate at the foyer. Well, something like that as I seem to clear the pool when I thrash out 40 lengths. You know, as I do.
I have had so many great times of late I really find it difficult to write anything without sounding like a smug twat. But I am sure I can brush over that. Just for you guys. Oh you guys.
Bonfire night made it across the pond this year - again a third time round for the party of the year, well for me that is. I went to my Mum's house for the day, and baked Yorkshire Parkin and toffee in a pan, oh it took so long to set, and when it did it stopped me gabbing on for at least a minute, it was very sticky and succeeded only slight better at gluing my teeth together than 'Will Stick Absolutely Anything Glue' yeah, it is a brand name in this land. Mum made meat and potato pie with mush peas and the obligatory mint sauce in vinegar. Yum.
We have a tradition of making a guy and then testing it for dancability, likeness and burn ability. Mike Grant and I were the only ones who could be arsed. We made Paul Mc Cartney and Heather Mills, hence the mention at the beginning of this piece. I won the competition on all three counts, and boy did she burn. I paid $5 for the nylon ensemblee she wore, me Mam donated a bra, a pillow and some rubber gloves. I finished the look off by hiding a few fire crackers in her head and Bob's your mother's live in lover she won. What a beauty.
What else? Hum, a few great nights out in the city involving booty calls, fallings out and a few shots too many. I must mention I have started shots again with devastating effects. I spent last Saturday in bed all day, groaning and trying to summons enough energy to get back on it with Al at night. Where is my old roomie whith the Vicadins when you need him?
Oh, I got dumped, yeah I know shock horror - should take the git off my blog - he is on a few pics down. But it's all a chapter as we say in my family. Just need to get the time to actually create a bleedi' chapter now. Seriously, I am on it.
Oh, Fiona an Irish lass who has been here for over 10 years just gave birth to Oscar. Well done Fi. 6 weeks early like he could have waited until you got your Christmas shopping out of the way. Talking of which I am thinking of sponsoring a donkey for my family for Christmas. Do you think that will go down better than a cashmere sweater? I don't want to be a bar humbug, but it is bollox really isn't it? I have 10 pairs of pj's endless books, and all the media shite I want. Just keep your hands on your wallets family because Santa will not be emptying his sack under my tree this year.
Oh bands seen in the past few include; Beautiful South, Placebo, She Wants Revenge, Bob Dylan and The Kings of Leon. Bands seeing next month Killers - that's all you need to know. I am happy to finally see them since last month I had tickets and got the dates mixed up therefore missed the little blighters.
OK off to bed I go.
Night
