Most Expensive Pooh Ever Shat

Not a very pleasant title I know - But I had to tell you about my Thursday evening. And it stared with a shit- never though it could come to this...
Yeah, I am very fortunate to be driving Mum's car until she flogs it. It is a lovely V6 VW Jetta - with dog section, you know for when I get fed up of looking for a husband and succumb to buying a pooch. Black, shiny, nice tires, all the usual stuff a car which one is not paying a penny for should be - sweet. Free.
Knowing how my life tends to pan out I should have known that nowt in life comes for free. Not even for me. My interpretation of having a sweet life is contradictory to most of my mate's perceptions. My life of late has been a bag of crap,and last night as I cruised out of work at 3.15pm, full of the joys of summer, lapping up the 90 degree heat with the sun roof down and my long locks a flowing - making me look like a cross between Tina Turner and Ike's.
Anyway, I got to my street at 4pm and cruised around the block for a parking space. Let me explain the parking situation in my 'hood. Right in front of the door one can park all day with a resident's permit. I have asked about these but am still not sure what I can do to get one, or if indeed if I am eligible for one. Before I get a bollocking from Mike (my roomie)for transcribing incorrect information re this issue - I really don't know how to get a parking pass. All I do know is that if I do decide to park outside the house, I have to move the wheels at least a foot every hour, and cannot park there at all on a Tuesday after midnight, which is street cleaning night. Mind you, none of these obstacles designed to make an already neurotic Yorkshire woman go crazy bonkers with an 8 piece drill and bit set (name the show)seemed to perturb the homeless guy who's been living in his old Chevy for the last few days with only a few joints and a family bucket of KFC to keep him occupied. I know this as I got a good view of him while doing the odd spot of ironing t'other night.
Yeah, so parking is a problem. So after 30 mins or more I decided that if I spent any more time looking for the never appearing spot, there was gonna be some serious valeting going on, not too good on the leather seats, so a dollar in a meter and off I dashed, to the loo.
Ten minutes, ten bloody minutes later I went back to the car, well, I didn't because it had gone. For once I was helped by a bum, the homeless guy who occupies the right hand sided street corner near the house informed me it had been towed. Towed. TOWED.
I had to go and retrieve the vehicle from some car park on 7th. I knew it was gonna be an expensive shit, but my God, $188 for releasing the car. I was not crying at this point as I signed my Visa slip, in fact I was a good girl, courteous to the cashier, even opened a door for the next member of public to be ripped off. No, there were no tears. Until I got to the car, noticed a piece of unfamiliar paper on the windscreen, and opened it to discover a paring ticket, for $60. Twas then that I started to bawl.
Lesson learned.
Go to the loo before you leave work for the day.

Time hi h hime is on my side - yes it is

Bugger me - well, don't , well, wait 'till I am dead 1st. Yes I am still breathing the smoggy foggy air of one of the most beautiful and cosmopolitan cities in the world. San Francisco has been awash with foreign folk - well, since probably colonlisation - but I'd say I have noticed it since the World Cup started.

Yeah - yeah - yeah - we were absolutly shite - AND I am not gonna waste my time trying to defend England's absolutly pants performance over the past few weeks - All I can really say now is that I hope Italy win and with that win bringeth a plethora of hunky single Italian men to the bars in North Beach on Sunday - Note to me - no plans only sharking in various street side cafes all day - with a blue t-shirt for good measures and a canny grin upon face.

So what have you lot been up to? I should know because my inbox has been getting rather full of friends asking how the hell am I since blogging has been on a back burner yet again. I must say writing down all the nitty gritties would have even the naughtiest of you blushing. I have been razzing it up frequently - Not only due to the arrival of summer in California (in case you forgot where I reside) but just because I can really. Mind you after getting my credit card bill this month I think I am gonna have to put a lid on my newly acquired shopping addiction, especially my strange fettish for all things thong like - knickers and flip flops - It is about time I realised all the colours in the rainbow are not a necessity for summer foot fashion, and if all truth be known I am still clinging onto my Ugg boot wearing craze. Sheer comfort and the fitting in with the crowd element wins hands down, well someone has to give the homeless some competition.

I must admit to another addiction right here - right now - Gosh I feel like I am introducing myself to the first session of a 12 steps programme. I am hooked on Match.com

Laugh you may at some of my solicitation tacticts on the internet - Well my dears I cannot stop - I have had to knock emailing on the head in working hours - and when I am not at work I am too busy dating to catch up. I am getting 30 hits a day - over 6,000 blokes have read my profile and 5,999 have dated me!!! OK - Well, not too far from the truth. I just can't get enough in the words of Marc Boland - or was it Nolan??

I have dated a Lawyer, a Pediatrician, an Accountant, a Limo company owner, an Author, a Cop, a Piolot and a Power Ranger. Now there is a whole load of blogging to be done on this subject alone - but I am saving it for the book - I am supposed to be editing one said romance at the moment - but frankly am far to embarrassed to let my room mate Mike get his mitts on it (he's offered his editing skills - which amount to none but he's after some ammo)- for fear of banishing me to the looney bin instantly - Well, I do get a tad carried away at times. Don't I?

All this in search for true love. Well - It has to stop - I hav cancelled my subscription (for the 2nd time)and under the strict advice of my dear friend Leanne I am seeking out a plumber - Anyone know a good one?

Why didn't we win the World Cup?

So, I am trying to do something constructive with my time and have an interview with a Mentor programme on Tuesday - Ironic innit? Don't think I will be giving the guys my blog address during the meeting. Let's hope I can find something a little more constructive and worthwhole to do in my spare time. And you never know what is just around the corner...

Laugh at my spelling all you want - I am off on a date and have no time to spell check ;-)