More Vegas Baby

Hello peeps, hope you are all happy. Just a few more pics of Vegas, sorry no x-rated ones this time round - Maybe I will get a few together for private viewing.

You can see New York New York at the top, with a pic of the aged-steak store we had the most fantastic dinner in one evening. The Statue of Liberty, well, fiberglass and papier mache version is clad with a basketball shirt 'East Side' and the lion outside the MGM has a 'West Side' shirt on, this was something to do with the NBA Basketball All Stars game, which happened to be on 'the strip' the weekend we arrived. I must say, when I got to the hotel to meet my Mum and Step Dad I thought I had walked into Jerry Springer's studio. I have never seen so much 'Bling' or "bling Bling'. I had not imagined it possible for a woman to step out onto the casino floor, in a size 2 dress when her true, no breathing in size was near on a size 18! Seriously, it was a sight for sore eyes, but with so many Gangsters on site, one's eyes were forced to staring into one's Grey Goose and soda! I was amazed by the sheer size of the boobs on some of those women. I have been known as top heavy in my time, but those bazookas defeated gravity. 12 inch heels were probably the only thing keeping those ladies upright. Mind you, all were surrounded by 5 men-strong posses so there was no chance of much falling over, perhaps if I'd stayed in the bar long enough I could have seen some ground breaking moves.

That was only the fist night. The Sunday morning was spent laughing at my Step Dad for having a major hangover, deciding on how much my betting limit for the week would be ($200) and setting up the trade show booth, for the company I work for, family owned which makes at the more interesting, and walking up the 'Strip'. We walked for ages, I sat on a sphinx, posed for pictures outside New York, caught the back end of the Belagio fountains and was 10 feet away from a shooting! Yes a bloody shooting.

It went like this. I was walking with Mum, Step Dad (Tim) Gordon Riley (Technician from UK, Keighley, my home town, in fact) and Teresa who is both Mum's and my friend. A guy was on the over pass from the MGM to NY NY (I think - I was in shock), he was trying to sell me some CD, and suddenly grabbed his box of wares from the floor, and shouted to us "Run, fight!". We were like, looking around to see the action, and he yelled "Run, gun!". So immediately we stopped rubber necking and started to run to the casino doors. It was then we heard a 'pop', a gun shot, but not like the gun' s I'd heard at Mum & Tim's house. We have shot down there at targets a few times, and that seemed much louder, down at the creek.

Not many people ran, it was really crowded, and once we were in the casino we seemed to become an insignificant group of shocked tourists wondering if that was real or not. You can not tell, we were Vegas BABY! We saw the details on the news back at the Luxor Hotel there was apparently three shootings that day. Gangstas! So, all very scared, resulting in a few nights spent in the hotel, back and forth to work, at Mandeline Bay, which was a 40 min walk when the crowds of Basketball fans where there, but only 20 minutes once we had some room to walk. I have never seen so many big people, tall and fat. Really. I could not get any real pictures of this very entertaining aspect of Vegas for fear of getting squashed, or in fact shot!
So by the time Teresa left on the Tuesday (reading back on this, this sounds bad, not intended honey), I had two nights of the best side of Vegas. Vodka and steak. Wee bit of gambling and a strip joint to get the old cockles flowing. Yeah. I went to Spearmint Rhinos with four vets(as in animal Dr's. NOT to be confused with old Vietnam war heroes - there has been and will continue to be some cross wires on this abbreviated usage of the word). Three from the UK, and one from South Africa.

I met these guys at the 'show' we were selling at. They popped passed and came back over for an other look. We ended up chatting, and having our heritage mostly, ( I have no S African in me, ((well, none that I know of)), in common we all ended up deciding to meet for drinkie poohs later on. I blew them out that night, but they called and I decided well, come on, let's see Vegas BABY! So we went for 'dinner' which consisted of at least six vodkas, they were on Redbull and Vodka me just soda, in the Mirage Hotel, Casino. Lovely- The only one I saw with real trees. I must actually interject here and say the air in that place is really disgusting. I am sure they pump in air freshener and oxygen to mask the immense amount of cig smoke in the place. But all the same. Nice you can smoke.

Then we had a laugh with a few oil tycoons, rather funny, I was dared to steal a guy's diary, which was sticking out of his Wrangler waistband. Which I did. I also introduced myself by asking him what he was doing Thursday lunch. He immediately got his Blackberry out and I was disappointed he did not feel round for his planner. I ended up leaving the bar with it. Spotting a $20 on the floor, felt bad, and ran back to the bar to hand it back. It was lucky because I had left my jacket in there, so luck all round. The next thing I touched was a load of chips, falling around the black jack table. One of the Vets handed me a stack and I just threw them about. No one was amused. Next we looked for the white tigers in the Secret Garden and they go to bed at 5pm. How bloody inconsiderate? I thought Vegas was 24/7 BABY! We then staggered in to Cesar's Palace, for ages, looking for vodka. Then ended up, for no reason other than 'why not?', we went to a strip club.

Spearmint Rhinos was a quick cab ride from the plastic word of the casinos, and into the really real world of super hot babes. I was really impressed. The girls were all lovely, about 40 of them. The bouncer asked if we wanted a table, we opted for the bar. Where two girls came up to me and put their hands down my cleavage. I was wearing a dress, structured so that a bra was unnecessary; and I got a shock! I said I was not interested. This did not stop us getting a table. Let's just say, some things that happen in Vegas, stay in Vegas BABY. To be continued...

What Goes On In Vegas Stays in Vegas

Well, here is a taster of Vegas - Just round and about the Luxor Hotel, where I stayed for 5 nights. I am not too happy with the shots including people - I have a suspicion that my camera - Oh my trusted camera is on it's last legs. Not dissimilar to myself in this crazy town.
Let's just get this straight, I was a Vegas Virgin and must say had my knickers in the air all the way BABY! I had to work at a Veterinarian conference from 9 until 5.30 ish for 3 days in a row, with a day either side for setting and packing up, but from dinner time until 5am I was free, a few hours reserved for sleep. Let's just say I did not get much.

I will post more soon, I am just a bit miffed at the fuzziness. How gorgeous is the pool? I managed to get my index finger wet and that was it - Testing the temp of course.

Hello All You Singles

Well, well. This is the eve of probably one of the hardest days to be single all year. It was particularly hard for me this year as I had such an array of possible Valentine's it took me a week to write out all my cards - Let's just see if one gets any in the post tomorrow. No seriously. There is no seriously. I am dateless tomorrow, and have decided to get completely wasted with my old room mate Mike, and listen to a lot of punk rock I expect. I expect it will be one of those traipses through one's i-tunes looking for a song that does not remind one of the fact a) I'm single b) not getting any younger c) trying one's hardest not to eat cake and get fat or d)trying to forget a-c which would give the same results as d.

I have been a busy girl the past few weeks, making cards and posting a few little surprises for my friends and maybe one or more potential suitors. But I must admit, I am getting used to the fact that Mr Right is either a hedgehog, therefore in hibernation; or out on some Peace finding mission in the war, dragging helpless women and children from bomb sites, getting those arms strengthened to carry me over the threshold. Mind you, by the time I get wed, the unlucky bugger is gonna have to carry me and my wheel chair over the front step, I will be that old by then, I just don't think falling into walls and clinging onto radiators will suffice by the time I am 90!

It is weird Valentine's Day here. Whole classes give all the kids at school cards, you can buy them in packs of 30. There is no secret either. You may as well just go right up to someone and declare your undying love to their face. The purpose of sending cards in this country is to let people know we are all loved I think. Anyway I adopted that attitude this year and sent a few out to my mates. Don't know what came over me ;-)

All I know is that UPS are having to pull out their spare fleet tomorrow, just so they can deliver all my cards and pressys!

I am getting very excited about a pending trip to Vegas (BABY). I have never been before, even though I have been holidaying on the West Coast since 1989. I was always under the impression the 1st time I went, Elvis was gonna give me away in a drive through wedding chapel. Then Brittney pissed on my bonfire. But, I have the opportunity to go to the Western Vet Conference (whoooooooooooooa) which is from February 17-22nd, so I have a 5 night stay in the Luxor, which is shaped like a pyramid, should make some interesting pictures.

Since I am not a gambler, I have decided to keep a purse of cash solely for pampering purposes. However I have had a funny feeling that I may actually win something, so I will try my hand at some sort of game on the last night, if I win I can pay for my eyelash extensions and facials I am planning on having. But if I loose, I won't be ripping those little lashes out one by one. Looking at the shows that are on there at the moment, they seem a little excessive. I have been to Cirque de Sole, which was great, but I would not fancy it again. there is some Beatles show on too, but no one in our gang will be up for that, including me. So, I call upon your resources, please tell me what to do.

I am supposedly well equipped for Vegas (BABY) as I am living in the adult playground of the world. But I really don't feel equipped for their version of CHAVS which are Trailer Park White Trash. I have seen and heard enough Eminem to have some idea about exactly what sights I will be witnessing. My photo's are gonna be on the theme of Tinsel and tattoos - so watch out for some beauties.

What else have I got coming up....Lots of gigs, Paulo Nuntini, Razorlight, Snow Patrol, Silversun Pick Ups (buy them) and a huge Glasonbury type affair called Coachella, somewhere near Palm Springs. Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rage Agin' t' Machine are headlining, but I am more interested in the Brit contingency. Weeing my pants about seeing Jarvis Cocker and the Happy Mondays have re-formed, that should be a laugh.

Calm Down Dearest by Jamie T has me in stitched on youtube.com, I heard him on my satellite radio Sirius - which if you have not got, why not? And the video is amazing. reminds me of babysitting when I was a kid, in some biscuit-tin smelling council house. he is great, don't know how long he'll be around but I hope he manages to knock a few more of those vids out, you should check him out.

One more thing I remembered, must tell ya. This weekend was my 1st one out and about since just before Xmas. I have been feeling sorry for myself, and have not been inclined to loose all my senses in a night of drunken debauchery. I must interject here. Sarah and Jose I know I got hammered on Jan 7th with you two, in Mars Bar in Soma SF, I am choosing to discount this night of complete tartish behaviour. Why? Because it makes my story less funny and I am in charge, this is my blog.

So as I was saying, lovely drinks a plenty Saturday night planned, which all started with my 1st attempt ever to get all the lovely ladies I have met here on a night out. An email was sent, asking if anyone was up for a man free night - IE all of those ladies who usually spend the night watching reruns of ER and countless reality shows with your man munching through a meat feast pizza, then farting and burping in unison with the theme tune to Pop Idol, get your booties out. Night in either North Beach or The Mission, lots of dancing and then a curry for afters. This I must add is not the usual order of events here. Food always seems to be the core of all nights out, and one must eat it really early, then spend up until 2am trying various cocktails and shots to try and get a bit pissed.

The response was crap to say the least. But I had my fantastic mate T. Teresa. I got to hers at 8 ish and we started on the vino tinto and had a few bong rips (see how easily I have settled in here!) then waited an hour for a bloody cab. I ended up driving. I parked on a hill called Hill, to avoid any loosing of one's vehicle, which I have done before.

We started quickly and finished at a sprint. The funniest bit was t falling asleep in her Mexican platter in the taquerria. The que was too much for her, apparently burritos are the UK version of a kebab, so the place was packed. We had to wait in line for ages, and t just flopped to the nearest table and passed out. Thanks God it was not me, makes a change I suppose. All I was thinking about was getting some sleep before the dreaded Sunday I had ahead of me.

My Mother had called Saturday to tell me that she had gone to feed Daisy, her grossly overweight 12 yr old Cairn Terrier, and she had not popped her head out of the kennel. Mum wanted me to come and have a look. She had prodded inside the kennel with a stick, but that dog has about 5 sleeping bags and she could not be found. I volunteered as I knew it was gonna be a sad day for my Mum. We arranged to eat sushi in Half Moon Bay 1st, I suppose this was the only suitable payment Mum could think of, especially as I was gonna have to drag this 24 lb (supposed to weigh 12lbs!)dead dog out onto the grass - then what? I dunno know, but is was worth a hand roll, caterpillar roll and a bowl of misso soup! So lunch it was.

I don't know what you usually eat when a monster hangover is raging up a storm in your head, but I used to go for the full Trucker's breakfast, baked beans, bacon, one sausage, fried bread, tinned tomatoes and a white t-cake with loads of butter. No such thing as a Greasy Spoon Cafe here, so raw fish seemed to be a good idea, NOT. I prayed the dog was alive. She was. Hurrah.

So got to go now, seem to have wasted my Valentine's eve writing this! Happy Valentine's Day. You know I love you!

Jo x

Morrissey Pasedina Feb 1st 2007

These are my Mammamozie and Morrissey himself at Pasadena Civic Center nr LA on Thursday. We were in the Moz pit second row from front. He was brilliant. The 1st time either of us have seen him, my Mum paid for the tickets, hotel and flights. Thanks so much Mum you are the best.