Hello All You Singles

Well, well. This is the eve of probably one of the hardest days to be single all year. It was particularly hard for me this year as I had such an array of possible Valentine's it took me a week to write out all my cards - Let's just see if one gets any in the post tomorrow. No seriously. There is no seriously. I am dateless tomorrow, and have decided to get completely wasted with my old room mate Mike, and listen to a lot of punk rock I expect. I expect it will be one of those traipses through one's i-tunes looking for a song that does not remind one of the fact a) I'm single b) not getting any younger c) trying one's hardest not to eat cake and get fat or d)trying to forget a-c which would give the same results as d.

I have been a busy girl the past few weeks, making cards and posting a few little surprises for my friends and maybe one or more potential suitors. But I must admit, I am getting used to the fact that Mr Right is either a hedgehog, therefore in hibernation; or out on some Peace finding mission in the war, dragging helpless women and children from bomb sites, getting those arms strengthened to carry me over the threshold. Mind you, by the time I get wed, the unlucky bugger is gonna have to carry me and my wheel chair over the front step, I will be that old by then, I just don't think falling into walls and clinging onto radiators will suffice by the time I am 90!

It is weird Valentine's Day here. Whole classes give all the kids at school cards, you can buy them in packs of 30. There is no secret either. You may as well just go right up to someone and declare your undying love to their face. The purpose of sending cards in this country is to let people know we are all loved I think. Anyway I adopted that attitude this year and sent a few out to my mates. Don't know what came over me ;-)

All I know is that UPS are having to pull out their spare fleet tomorrow, just so they can deliver all my cards and pressys!

I am getting very excited about a pending trip to Vegas (BABY). I have never been before, even though I have been holidaying on the West Coast since 1989. I was always under the impression the 1st time I went, Elvis was gonna give me away in a drive through wedding chapel. Then Brittney pissed on my bonfire. But, I have the opportunity to go to the Western Vet Conference (whoooooooooooooa) which is from February 17-22nd, so I have a 5 night stay in the Luxor, which is shaped like a pyramid, should make some interesting pictures.

Since I am not a gambler, I have decided to keep a purse of cash solely for pampering purposes. However I have had a funny feeling that I may actually win something, so I will try my hand at some sort of game on the last night, if I win I can pay for my eyelash extensions and facials I am planning on having. But if I loose, I won't be ripping those little lashes out one by one. Looking at the shows that are on there at the moment, they seem a little excessive. I have been to Cirque de Sole, which was great, but I would not fancy it again. there is some Beatles show on too, but no one in our gang will be up for that, including me. So, I call upon your resources, please tell me what to do.

I am supposedly well equipped for Vegas (BABY) as I am living in the adult playground of the world. But I really don't feel equipped for their version of CHAVS which are Trailer Park White Trash. I have seen and heard enough Eminem to have some idea about exactly what sights I will be witnessing. My photo's are gonna be on the theme of Tinsel and tattoos - so watch out for some beauties.

What else have I got coming up....Lots of gigs, Paulo Nuntini, Razorlight, Snow Patrol, Silversun Pick Ups (buy them) and a huge Glasonbury type affair called Coachella, somewhere near Palm Springs. Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rage Agin' t' Machine are headlining, but I am more interested in the Brit contingency. Weeing my pants about seeing Jarvis Cocker and the Happy Mondays have re-formed, that should be a laugh.

Calm Down Dearest by Jamie T has me in stitched on youtube.com, I heard him on my satellite radio Sirius - which if you have not got, why not? And the video is amazing. reminds me of babysitting when I was a kid, in some biscuit-tin smelling council house. he is great, don't know how long he'll be around but I hope he manages to knock a few more of those vids out, you should check him out.

One more thing I remembered, must tell ya. This weekend was my 1st one out and about since just before Xmas. I have been feeling sorry for myself, and have not been inclined to loose all my senses in a night of drunken debauchery. I must interject here. Sarah and Jose I know I got hammered on Jan 7th with you two, in Mars Bar in Soma SF, I am choosing to discount this night of complete tartish behaviour. Why? Because it makes my story less funny and I am in charge, this is my blog.

So as I was saying, lovely drinks a plenty Saturday night planned, which all started with my 1st attempt ever to get all the lovely ladies I have met here on a night out. An email was sent, asking if anyone was up for a man free night - IE all of those ladies who usually spend the night watching reruns of ER and countless reality shows with your man munching through a meat feast pizza, then farting and burping in unison with the theme tune to Pop Idol, get your booties out. Night in either North Beach or The Mission, lots of dancing and then a curry for afters. This I must add is not the usual order of events here. Food always seems to be the core of all nights out, and one must eat it really early, then spend up until 2am trying various cocktails and shots to try and get a bit pissed.

The response was crap to say the least. But I had my fantastic mate T. Teresa. I got to hers at 8 ish and we started on the vino tinto and had a few bong rips (see how easily I have settled in here!) then waited an hour for a bloody cab. I ended up driving. I parked on a hill called Hill, to avoid any loosing of one's vehicle, which I have done before.

We started quickly and finished at a sprint. The funniest bit was t falling asleep in her Mexican platter in the taquerria. The que was too much for her, apparently burritos are the UK version of a kebab, so the place was packed. We had to wait in line for ages, and t just flopped to the nearest table and passed out. Thanks God it was not me, makes a change I suppose. All I was thinking about was getting some sleep before the dreaded Sunday I had ahead of me.

My Mother had called Saturday to tell me that she had gone to feed Daisy, her grossly overweight 12 yr old Cairn Terrier, and she had not popped her head out of the kennel. Mum wanted me to come and have a look. She had prodded inside the kennel with a stick, but that dog has about 5 sleeping bags and she could not be found. I volunteered as I knew it was gonna be a sad day for my Mum. We arranged to eat sushi in Half Moon Bay 1st, I suppose this was the only suitable payment Mum could think of, especially as I was gonna have to drag this 24 lb (supposed to weigh 12lbs!)dead dog out onto the grass - then what? I dunno know, but is was worth a hand roll, caterpillar roll and a bowl of misso soup! So lunch it was.

I don't know what you usually eat when a monster hangover is raging up a storm in your head, but I used to go for the full Trucker's breakfast, baked beans, bacon, one sausage, fried bread, tinned tomatoes and a white t-cake with loads of butter. No such thing as a Greasy Spoon Cafe here, so raw fish seemed to be a good idea, NOT. I prayed the dog was alive. She was. Hurrah.

So got to go now, seem to have wasted my Valentine's eve writing this! Happy Valentine's Day. You know I love you!

Jo x