Missing This

Hello my dear Blogeristas,

How goes it? I wanted to post this picture which was only taken the other week. Yeah, before I became a terrorist threat to my dear and beloved host nation.

I miss the bridge how can one not?

I took this while driving from a friend's to work on a Friday morning, not my usual route into the ofice, but one well worth the additional 30 minute drive. It was taken on my Casio Exlim 5mmp extra suave camera - while I ws doing 60 mph. Pretty impressive eh? Anti shake function working overtime I feel, well worth the extra dollars. I can not however post any pics of my Vancouver trip or any from here in Barcelona as I left my charger at home - Silly me thinking I'd get back inthe door to plug it in before the batteries ran out forever.

Well, due to the wonders of technology I emailed my dear Mother and asked her to send me the dicking station via snail mail - With the Spanish postal service I will probably get it by the time they have invented a cameea which can take pictures without human aid and recharge itself thorough voice command.

A bit about my 1st Spanish weekend. Jose and Sarah took me for dinner with their friends and I had meat for the 1st time in a week. Living with Sarah means vegi-cooking, well, not strickty for me, but it seems daft to make two lots of dinners. So off I went into a meat n greet. Lots of very difficult to remember Spanish names to learn and pleanty of dead animals to devour. I had a Cattalonian specialty of stuffed squid, and a few duck thights with a chocolate sauce. The latter sounds gross, and it was not too hot, never mind at least it helped soak up the vino tinto (red wine for those who have not just took part in their 1st intensive Spanish lesson). This feast took place at 11pm - I am going to have to get used to this - Mind you getting up at noon and having brunch at 4pm aided me when staving off the hunger pains.

Then it was club time. Well, after a house party which consisted of a lot of student types and 3 CD's! Yeah - Jose and his friend Silvia decided since I was away from San Francisco a gay club would be just what I needed. Hummmmmmmm... I did have a fantastic boogie with a dwarf called Oscar, he was very impressed with my Madonna Impression. What is with her new video by the way?

Oh, have you all rushed our and bought the Arctic Monkeys CD? I do not usually go on about tunes on this blog - but it is well worth a mention - Amazon-it now.

Ok have to learn lots of vocab for test tomorrow. I must say I feel quiety confident about these Spanish classes. I know more than I like to portrey, in fact I surprised myself!

Adios.

x

Juanitta Banana (new name here as Jo sounds like Ho - and THAT would not do my rep any good)

PS No spell check - I know I am crap, but why? Oh why can't I get a PC with spell check just once - go on - let something go my way for a change.

Spanish Lessons

Ok, I am going to try and create a link to a word a day in Spanish, you know bit of extra swotting for teacher.
I start my class on Monday and am determined to beat the competition - Won't be hard like as I am one of four in my class!

Bloody typical they had to incorporate Californian residents into my 1st entry! Is this a wind up?

Four Countries in Ten Days

Hola,

Well the long awaited update of my goings ons since I was denyed entry into the soding States. I am actually living at my best friend Sarah's in Barcelona. She offered for me to come and stay for a while until I got sorted visa wise. Which was grand indeed. Well, a friend in need and all that jazz.

What a palava? I flew into Heathrow on Thursday. I eventually got a $700 flight instead of the $3,000 British Airways tried to flog me. Cheek of it, they see a damsil in distress and try to bleed her dry of every last cent! Please excuse any American or Spanishisms, my head is obviously a bit skew-wiff after visiting 4 countries in only 10 days!

USA (San Francisco) - Friday 13th Jan (should have bloody known)
Canada(Vancouver) - Friday 13th Jan - Wednesday 18th
England(London & Leeds) - Thursday 19th - Monday 23rd
Spain (Barcelona) Monday 23rd - Present day.

I have since had several marriage proposals from my Internet dating pals, not much use though because a wedding in the UK would mean that I would have to stay in the cold for two years ie live in the UK. Well, that's what I think, maybe the law has changed? Anyway I would seriously consider marrying for a Green Card. I would pay up to $5k for the pleasure, it would saveme all of the moving about every 90 days. Mind you, when I do eventually get back into my adopted home I am not risking any thing next time. I will stay put until I get a green card. I will not risk this again.

Sarah has just asked me to be bridesmaid at her July 22nd wedding in Harrogate, Yorkshire. I have of course accepted, I am honoured, I would love it. It will be dificult getting in and out of the States if I do ever get back in so I have told her I will have to stay there if I do get back in, thus causing all sorts of dilemas and dramas. Who knows I could still be this side of the pond in 6 months anyway.

I will now try and explain the whole sinario regarding this misfortunate trip around the globe...

I was staying in San Francisco on a 90 day Waiver Visa, and pressumed that I could leave the country after 90 days, then come back and get a new Waiver Visa. So a trip to Vancouver it was. I should have however gone to the Caribbean as initially intended then I would have deffinately been allowed re-entry. As the Caribbean is classed as a seperate country from the USA where as Canada and Meico are not! Since they boarder the USA they are not a seperate country, so when I tried to get back over the boarder (at Vancouver customs) I had actually overstayed the visa I had by 2 days (it ran out on January 15th). Bastard.

I tried to keep my cool during my brief flirtation with the law, a few anger driven tears dripped methodically down my right cheek (well, did not want to mess my mascara up on both eyes!), I sobbed when thinking of my poor mother having to empty my belongings out of my lodgings in SanFran. and jigged my sholders about a bit, in conjunction with the tears. None of this worked, however the Mexican woman at boarder control was gutted for me, she said she knew exactly how I felt (I bet she bloody did). Her supervisor was not so sympathetic.
In fact when he had to explain why Canada was not a country in the eyes of Immigration, an explaination which baffled all listening and would never have made any sense even if George Bush had have tried to explain it! Talking of whom, I had to look at his smug little head when I was being dressed down (big picture of the twat on wall). The Supervisor said "these visas are for people visiting Disney Land Mam, NOT for people wanting to reside near their family". So that told me.

He also informed me that it would not be a problem getting a B2 visa - It would take 5 working days, that all sounded convincing. So I signed a paper stating I was totally unaware of the law regarding this visa, that Canada was not a country (I do not agree but it was better than spending a night in a cell), then promptly dashed out into the foyer of Vancouver airport and started to bawl my eyes out!
I was crying at the thought of staying a night in the aorport, incurring silly costs and not seeing my mum in the distant future.

So here I am - Spain again. I was only visiting saying Sarah and Jose 12 weeks ago. Anyway, nowt I can do now. Keep buggering on I suppose.

USA NO GO

I am stuck in Vancouver airport - The USA immigration denyed me entry back to San Francisco.
I now have to fly back into London to go and sort out a visa. I have a 5.30 flight to Heathrow this evening.
Wish me luck...

They Do Not Pronounce Their S'S IN Vancouver

WE*T COA*T
WEST COAST.
Get it?Well, it is raining hard in Vancouver. I am soaked to the bone, and need to warm up - So I am Blogging away like a loon trying to get my dainty little fingers all warm and cosy again!I have been a lazy bugger today. I was woken up by the maid at 8.30 am, which pee'd me off to no end, because it has become clear in my adult life than a lie in is not something I will ever truly feel the benefit of. I can never manage to lay in bed all morning without having a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. This morning I felt I deserved it, after all I am on holiday, and my inner thigh bone - You know the one near your privates, is absolutely killing me after a strenuous day on the bike yesterday. Definitely out of practice in the legs akimbo department! Must get round to sorting that out!I have been to China Town for a late luncheon of noodles Singapore style - Bit of curry powder will warm the old cockles up on a day such as this. Then went to the Dr.Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden. That reminds me - I have to eat sushi before I go, it has been highly recommended. This trip was so wet and dark, by the time I'd eaten it was 4.30pm. So the gardens were dank, gloomy and without much florna anf flora to admire due to the season. However I did manage to get lost while wandering through various pagodas and over tiny little bridges. I ended up in the compost heap, a bit premature though - Well Psychic Bianca said I was gonna live to a healthy 80/90. Good guess Batman isn't that the average age we are expected to depart the planet these days?I met two women in the hot tub last night (did I mention I am staying in a suave 4 * hotel), and realised how so many people do not get to travel outside there own back yards. It is crazy but they were Canadians and were going 80 miles to take a holiday. You know we are really lucky us Europeans, with the advent of Easy Jet we can get our arses out of the country in the time it takes these guys to drive down to their nearest big city. They thought I was so brave traveling alone.

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Hi,
I am writing from Vancouver - It is 5 degrees c and I am freezing my tits off. However I can ignore this chilly fact as the city is one of the most pristine I have ever been to. It is gorgeous here.
You can not want for more - amazing skyscrapers - mostly apartments, with shiny mirrored glass facades, in many assortments of colours of the rainbow. There is a huge park on the tip of the city and the whole place has a back drop of wondrous snow capped mountains.
I am here for a few days so I can re-enter the USA with a new 90 day stamp in my passport - Keep wondering if they'll let me back though customs - if not I will be back in London Wednesday! I will have become acclimatized to the dreadful cold though - my hands are frozen now typing this.
Anyway I am staying in the heart of the Downtown area at the Sandman Hotel. It is very spacious and pleasant however somewhat cold. I had to wait for the cleaner to do my bed this am - so I could sneak back in and turn the heating back on. There is a pool (which I dare not visit - too cold), and a lovely cafe etc. I have not spent much time in here mind, I have been exploring the city. By bike. No that was not a typo - I have actually rented a bike out for the past 2 days and I must have done at least 6 miles today, just sauntering around the place. I have stopped a million times to take pics, I am sure they will bore the pants of you lot, however I will post some anyway, it's so pretty here. Stanley Park is amazing and it has a Beaver Lake. Did not spot any yet - but there were a few dads showing kids ring-necked ducks of some sort!
I have not seen a Moose to my disappointment. Nor anyone skating about with a long stick in hand.
I did go to a very small theatre to see a one man play called Thom Pain last night - Quite amusing, although the audience did not really laugh - Not getting irony or sarcasm must have been something the Canadians inherited from the Yanks! Any way, the funniest bit was in the bar after - when I was waiting for my cab - Weird I got the same one who dropped me off - by coincidence - but sooooo Vancouverish - Everyone knows everyone - village like in this respect. So now I have a cabbie friend - That's not the funny bit. The funny bit is after the show I was chatting in the bar, and one of the crew asked if I was something to do with The Festival. Being a graduate with a dual degree (PE/Drama Film and TV), of course I guessed that she was going on about the Edinburgh Festival. My sense of humour told me to lie and say "Yah Dahrling", but my moral standing meant I could not tell tales and admitted I was a lone tourist with nowt better to do on a Sat night.
I love being 31 - I would have never gone into a theatre on my own when I was a chicklett. In fact, upon reflection this is the first time I have been anywhere which involves sleeping alone for more than 1 night ever. I did house sit ince for an X at university - But York's hardly a foreign land is it? Well it would be to a Canadian I suppose. Anyway, I digress. The play was great, even though I did not have anyone to share my Crunchy bar with. Yeah they have Cadbury's bars here. AND they are the same as the ones at home. So I have stocked up and would not share the things even if I did have a friend here.
My arse is killing me by the way.
Must be saddle sore... Out of practice I guess!
When I returned my mountain bike yesterday I passed a Psychic's shop and went in. For $40 I was told that some fucker (sorry), yeah some twat has put a spell on me. My cards came out all black and dark and she reckons I have a few people who are jealous and have actually wished bad luck on me. I will have 1 child, although I should be married with 2 kids by now (due to the spell this has not come to fruition), my great grandmother is my angel and is always with me, I have been here before, well my sole has, and I will become preggers in 10 days, 10 months or 10 years. BUT I will not stay with the father - in fact I will never be lucky in love. So I may as well cancel my internet dating subscription then!
I was nearly crying when I came out, until I called mum and she said she'll reverse the spell 'cause she got a spell book for Xmas! So that's sorted then!!!!
She also said I am very kind, but never get any recognition, Sam was no good for me and not to even think about getting back with him, and that I smile always, but this hides more morose feelings. True. But not complaining.
It was all a pitch to get me to fork out a wedge for some candles and a sprig of basil, a 3 day healing programme to rid me of this bad luck inducing spell. I told her I believed in Karma and if I was as kind as she said surely one day my luck would change.
And it did! I walked 2 blocks down the road back to my hotel, and stumbled across The Amsterdam Cafe - Which had a huge neon leaf in the window. So I trotted in, well skipped actually and asked the coffee maker if it was REALLY like the Damage (Amsterdam) I love so much. No it was not, in short - Well even the ever the optimist inside me could not expect my luck to change so drasically in only 2 blocks. No purchasing of the herb just the "OK" to smoke it. Was the rule.
Well, I was not a local so did what I thought best. Joined a table of guys smoking a blunt and introduced my self as the new girl about town with nothing to smoke (poor me). I was seeing double and spouting off a load of old shite before the blunt came back round the circle. I like blunts - never had one - But they do not roll with tobacco here or in the States and I miss the cig bit - A blunt is a cigar leaf which you use like a Rizla and then just add pure weed. Tastes milder than a UK spliff but so much better than the shitty way the Californian's do it. You cannot get a hit off that stuff with out coughing your guts up.
I have been very naughty in Vancouver. I have smoked at least 2 cigs a day since I arrived. Can not kick it as easily as 1st presumed, I must apologies to my bestist Leanne as I have been giving her shit for sneaking the odd cig when I have been on the phone to her. She quits every Sunday! I have gone since the end of June I think it was - But back to square one now!
Anyway, what else can I tell you about Vancouver?
Oh, I may go and have a snow boarding lesson tomorrow. Not got the right attire really - Well, I suppose my parka will do for a coat - even though it's floor length at the tail. I need pants - Trousers - soz been in the USA for far too long - I don't even say knickers anymore, I say pants or underwear, lot easier - mind you shouldn't say owt really just get 'em off as quickly as possible, just in case he changes his mind! Sorry smutty thoughts - Missing my man o' the mo'. (no more on this).
Ok I am off before I say too much - my gob and fingers are running away with me. (does that sound rude?)
Wish me luck weatherwise for the snow boarding - It rained for 28 days in a row just before I arrived. They are gutted they did ot make the record - 29 days. Nutters.

Not Had Much Time Of Late...

Well, well, well. I have been very busy conducting an extreemly important investigation into Internet dating. Is Internet a proper noun? Anyway, I digress, as usual when telling a very interesting and intriguing tale.
Yes. I have been participating in a little quest to try and find a decent single straight male (SSM) in San Francisco. Even though it is a little place compared to London it is not as easy as you think, looking on foot, afterall there are those hills. Yes, just like on the movies. They take a big breath and a lot of stamina to climb, and that is fine when sightseeing but not when looking for a SSM.
So to illiminate a lot of time, breath and hill climbing I decided to join an internet dating site, the biggest for singles in the W.W.W. How much fun can a girl have window shopping for a gorgeous man? Believe you me. A lot. And you who know me. You know a lot's a RIGHT lot! Well, we don't do things by halves up North.
OK so you post a few pics of your self, not too many posy, I'd say 'cause they need to know if you laugh and talk a lot. Not many pictures of me with my mouth closed actually mind you, but I threw a few good ones in. Then you type a profile of your requirements, which in the USA is Car? Income? Allamoney Payments? But for a lass with simple tastes it is must like outdoors, not be allergic to cats - well anything, no white socks with shoes, you know, the usual things.
I decided to find the man of one's dreams one must play the numbers game. It is simple math (s), my friends. So 2 dates a day for about 10 days should do the trick!
Not that easy. 3 Outfits only, because IF any make it past the 1st date they will have to be subjected to the LBD, and you can not wear that on a first date unless you wanna create the wrong impression. (you know, like "shag me brains out now, please".) The extra one is back up. You know what I mean ladies?
You then add a bit about yourself. It does not matter what you write the pics say a lot.
The next stage is various email too and fro - Then meeting up for coffee.
I am thinking about creating an other blog for the diary of events, the end has not been written so I guess you will have to wait...

The Lobster Nipped My Nipple!

Happy New Year.
I am not blogging due to serious amounts of time being spent persuing other activities.
Thanks for reading my blog over the past year. I will be back on form soon.
Jo x