Hi Bloggers,
Just to let you know I have been really busy the past week. Busy NOT writing 2k words a day on my book - merely researching for it. I guess my book will be based on a drunken 30 year old - Yes, I have done nothing but dine out twice a day and drink shots of Jagermeister and Red Bull 'blasters'. I have been frequenting my old haunts in Half Moon Bay California, The Harbor Bar and the Brewing Company and I have also had a few nights of debauchery in San Fran itself - There were masked as shopping days but visiting a bar for a cocktail at 2pm does not make much time for frequenting the many wonderful shops the city has to offer.
I have been spending time with my mum, who is going through a tough time of it after being called back after a routine mammogram. She has just been told today about her next trip to the hospital which will be for a biopsy on a couple of lumps they found in one of her breasts.
I will be changing the tone of my blog for a while as I will be documenting the days ahead and if it comes to it how things pan out when you discover such a shock as potential cancer in the family. There is no humour to be had in the 'c' word. But since a couple of people close to me are going through the same thing with their parents I think the diagnoses should be documented as it is not something that does not happen to you. This blog is about me and contrary to popular belief my holiday had to end somewhere.
I should be back in the UK in a few days, just trying to swing a stand by business class ticket, then it is back to the house in Kent, and back to office work for a month to pay my bills and get ready for Leanne's wedding.
I have been aware of my mates in the past few weeks, and thank the boffins of Sillicolne Valley for the invention of email. I just wanna thank you all for being somewhere in the world for me. I love you all.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Gosh has it been a week?
Hi blogsterthonathonerers,
I have been a busy girlie I bet you are all wondering as I have not had time to get on my blog - Well, the realisation my long trip since October is coming to an end and reality is biting hard at one's heels.
I am back in San Francisco after a 28 hour journey. It is raining - What can I say? Someone been doing the old rain dance again.
I am not really in the mood to blog as I am psyching myself up for the journey back to the UK in 2 weeks and also I am getting in the right frame of mind for the book. I am aiming for 2k words a day so if you are a regular log-on to my site you will be best to check back in another week.
Sorry for being so dull and limp - Must be the Brazilian Blues.
Jxx
I have been a busy girlie I bet you are all wondering as I have not had time to get on my blog - Well, the realisation my long trip since October is coming to an end and reality is biting hard at one's heels.
I am back in San Francisco after a 28 hour journey. It is raining - What can I say? Someone been doing the old rain dance again.
I am not really in the mood to blog as I am psyching myself up for the journey back to the UK in 2 weeks and also I am getting in the right frame of mind for the book. I am aiming for 2k words a day so if you are a regular log-on to my site you will be best to check back in another week.
Sorry for being so dull and limp - Must be the Brazilian Blues.
Jxx
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Prostitute
That title got all the boys looking I bet!
Last night was the final night of madness in this torrential rain hit city. Sarah and I have been restricted on the amount of fun we could have simply due to the fact drinking has to be involved to get into the party spirit in this town and we have not had a chance to do so as we are like a living wonder of the world to the locals. Basically we stand out like a sore thumb and the blacks here can not help but stroke and harass us - thus we have remained sober to keep our wits about us. Very sensible I feel, especially since I am usually the party animal.
The rain has dampened our spirits - I am sure I have gone on enough about this, but honestly there is nothing to do here in the rain, except sleep. Sarah thinks with all the beauty sleep we have had we now look like teenagers again!
We were enjoying an afternoon nap yesterday when the buzzer to the apartment went - I answered it and it was Jose Manuel a 28 year old guy from Chile who we met on the flight to Salvador. His friends had gone out already as he had thought his flight to his next destination was in the am, but having got to the airport in a post samba stress the front desk informed him his flight was 24 hours later! So Jose was up for a night out with his English buddies.
We slapped on a bit of waterproof mascara and put on our hooded tops (1st time out of the rucksack in 5 weeks) and off we swam to the historic centre of town for the last night of carnival.
We had a few Capprihannas and got a wee bit tipsy, we did feel safer with a guy and did not get any of the usual strokes from the locals due to our chaperone being such a star.
In the pub I got chatting to a lad called Marlon (32) from Twickenham, but was distinctively Cockney to me. He was smoking a huge cigar and seemed like a laugh. His Spanish was from tapes he had back at his apartment - I asked him if the narrator was Michael Caine - his attempt at the lingo was hilarious (Marlon i]f u r reading this - nice try mate) He ended up at our table with another Chilean called Joel. He was a lawyer - we have encountered many on this trip. Either it is some sort of lie to catch out attention or Sarah just attracts them, since she is one herself. Anyway the party was on.
Joel asked if his ´friend´ could sit with us and we said sure - the more the merrier and all that. What he forgot to inform us was that she was a 15 year old (well, she looked it) local prostitute, and was his bit on the side for $40 for 2 nights! This shocked me and I was not prepared to entertain the idea, we were getting a few stares form the rest of the bar by this time. What was eve more shocking was when the pervert asked if I wanted to join them later! Yeah right. He got the wrath of Jo and tried to make a joke but I was having none of it and he soon left with his girl in tow.
This country is so poor, I could not believe how cheap it was to rent someone for such a small amount, it really did open my eyes. These people love westerners and many of them try anything to get out of this place.
we had a 9 year old kid begging for milk for his baby sister the other day, it was heart breaking, we helped him though and he was a little cutie. He said he was called Jackson, after somehow that would help his cause, well it did and it was humbling to know he was gonna go back with a weeks worth of powdered milk for the family.
There are loads of young pregnant girls walking the streets and the Favelas are just bits of cardboard with no protection from the elements, it just makes you think how lucky we are. It certainly puts a lot into perspective for me, and for lessons such as this I am truly grateful for the opportunity I have had coming to South America.
Last night was the final night of madness in this torrential rain hit city. Sarah and I have been restricted on the amount of fun we could have simply due to the fact drinking has to be involved to get into the party spirit in this town and we have not had a chance to do so as we are like a living wonder of the world to the locals. Basically we stand out like a sore thumb and the blacks here can not help but stroke and harass us - thus we have remained sober to keep our wits about us. Very sensible I feel, especially since I am usually the party animal.
The rain has dampened our spirits - I am sure I have gone on enough about this, but honestly there is nothing to do here in the rain, except sleep. Sarah thinks with all the beauty sleep we have had we now look like teenagers again!
We were enjoying an afternoon nap yesterday when the buzzer to the apartment went - I answered it and it was Jose Manuel a 28 year old guy from Chile who we met on the flight to Salvador. His friends had gone out already as he had thought his flight to his next destination was in the am, but having got to the airport in a post samba stress the front desk informed him his flight was 24 hours later! So Jose was up for a night out with his English buddies.
We slapped on a bit of waterproof mascara and put on our hooded tops (1st time out of the rucksack in 5 weeks) and off we swam to the historic centre of town for the last night of carnival.
We had a few Capprihannas and got a wee bit tipsy, we did feel safer with a guy and did not get any of the usual strokes from the locals due to our chaperone being such a star.
In the pub I got chatting to a lad called Marlon (32) from Twickenham, but was distinctively Cockney to me. He was smoking a huge cigar and seemed like a laugh. His Spanish was from tapes he had back at his apartment - I asked him if the narrator was Michael Caine - his attempt at the lingo was hilarious (Marlon i]f u r reading this - nice try mate) He ended up at our table with another Chilean called Joel. He was a lawyer - we have encountered many on this trip. Either it is some sort of lie to catch out attention or Sarah just attracts them, since she is one herself. Anyway the party was on.
Joel asked if his ´friend´ could sit with us and we said sure - the more the merrier and all that. What he forgot to inform us was that she was a 15 year old (well, she looked it) local prostitute, and was his bit on the side for $40 for 2 nights! This shocked me and I was not prepared to entertain the idea, we were getting a few stares form the rest of the bar by this time. What was eve more shocking was when the pervert asked if I wanted to join them later! Yeah right. He got the wrath of Jo and tried to make a joke but I was having none of it and he soon left with his girl in tow.
This country is so poor, I could not believe how cheap it was to rent someone for such a small amount, it really did open my eyes. These people love westerners and many of them try anything to get out of this place.
we had a 9 year old kid begging for milk for his baby sister the other day, it was heart breaking, we helped him though and he was a little cutie. He said he was called Jackson, after somehow that would help his cause, well it did and it was humbling to know he was gonna go back with a weeks worth of powdered milk for the family.
There are loads of young pregnant girls walking the streets and the Favelas are just bits of cardboard with no protection from the elements, it just makes you think how lucky we are. It certainly puts a lot into perspective for me, and for lessons such as this I am truly grateful for the opportunity I have had coming to South America.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Sights of Salvador
Hi Blogster buddies,
Just in a Pusada (lodge house), which is full of travelers and consists of a few pc´s and a corridor full of bunk beds for weary traveling types. It is now that I see that my ´70´s syled apartment may actually be ok compared to this. If only it possessed a computer I do not think I would have got out of bed today as it had rained solidly for 24 hours now. However the partying is rampant and there are still endless sights to be seen, especially if you are as avid a people watcher as myself.
We have seen at least 1,000 Gandhis - dressed with towel turbans, full on frocks and sandals all with Gandhi´s head embossed on them. Beads like you could not imagine and silly looking grins. They are part of a Blocca which follow the floats round the circuit. We have not been part of this tradition as it is far too expensive and have resigned ourselves to the cheap seats when we have ventured out into this mad-cap world of wierdos. We are referred to a Pipoca (popcorn) by the ticket paying public, cause we stand on the sides jumping up and down.
We have seen grown men dressed as Mini Mouse, hundreds of them. Their outfits are spot on but there make up leaves a lot to be desired.
Now I think the transvestite population of S America have transcended upon this part of the country, I have a feeling that they have traveled far and wide as their various degrees of girlie attire are so different. Some just wear really tight jeans with nylon colourful skin tight tops with a little eye liner and lipstick, others have mini dresses on of al sorts of patterns and colours and actually look like some surgery has been performed, they have boobs and cheek bones, and finally there are some with full-on beards and a bit of lippy with a wanky wig. So you can see how confusing it all gets - especially after a few - I can see a few men getting them selves into sticky situations.
The kids are the best, they have fancy dress of all descriptions, but the street kids are amazing. They too and fro like little ants, getting in to nucks and crannys you would not expect, gathering essentials for their mothers who are street sellers. Selling all you could imagine from beads to beer. The little kids are back and fourth getting ice and more lagers in wheel barrows or trying to balance the poly ice boxes on their tiny heads, while dodging thousands of people in the street. Some even carry round make shift BBQ´s with them, they are made from old paint tins (the things they make with these tins is a blog in itself, I do not think I will be able to bring myself to throwing one of them away again). These BBQ contraptions are for roasting cheese-on-a-stick, a lovely treat when you are sick of pizza.
We have been to Pizza Hut two mornings in a row now for all you can eat breakfast - I will not be eating too many of these again upon my return to civilisation, I have had enough. I am ready for home I must say. Missing a sterile environment and dying to get back to the old cleanse, tone moisturise routine. I am dying to dump the can of insect repellent and tea-tree oil. Give me constant hot water, clean towels and sweat free nights any time. I miss my bathroom.
Just in a Pusada (lodge house), which is full of travelers and consists of a few pc´s and a corridor full of bunk beds for weary traveling types. It is now that I see that my ´70´s syled apartment may actually be ok compared to this. If only it possessed a computer I do not think I would have got out of bed today as it had rained solidly for 24 hours now. However the partying is rampant and there are still endless sights to be seen, especially if you are as avid a people watcher as myself.
We have seen at least 1,000 Gandhis - dressed with towel turbans, full on frocks and sandals all with Gandhi´s head embossed on them. Beads like you could not imagine and silly looking grins. They are part of a Blocca which follow the floats round the circuit. We have not been part of this tradition as it is far too expensive and have resigned ourselves to the cheap seats when we have ventured out into this mad-cap world of wierdos. We are referred to a Pipoca (popcorn) by the ticket paying public, cause we stand on the sides jumping up and down.
We have seen grown men dressed as Mini Mouse, hundreds of them. Their outfits are spot on but there make up leaves a lot to be desired.
Now I think the transvestite population of S America have transcended upon this part of the country, I have a feeling that they have traveled far and wide as their various degrees of girlie attire are so different. Some just wear really tight jeans with nylon colourful skin tight tops with a little eye liner and lipstick, others have mini dresses on of al sorts of patterns and colours and actually look like some surgery has been performed, they have boobs and cheek bones, and finally there are some with full-on beards and a bit of lippy with a wanky wig. So you can see how confusing it all gets - especially after a few - I can see a few men getting them selves into sticky situations.
The kids are the best, they have fancy dress of all descriptions, but the street kids are amazing. They too and fro like little ants, getting in to nucks and crannys you would not expect, gathering essentials for their mothers who are street sellers. Selling all you could imagine from beads to beer. The little kids are back and fourth getting ice and more lagers in wheel barrows or trying to balance the poly ice boxes on their tiny heads, while dodging thousands of people in the street. Some even carry round make shift BBQ´s with them, they are made from old paint tins (the things they make with these tins is a blog in itself, I do not think I will be able to bring myself to throwing one of them away again). These BBQ contraptions are for roasting cheese-on-a-stick, a lovely treat when you are sick of pizza.
We have been to Pizza Hut two mornings in a row now for all you can eat breakfast - I will not be eating too many of these again upon my return to civilisation, I have had enough. I am ready for home I must say. Missing a sterile environment and dying to get back to the old cleanse, tone moisturise routine. I am dying to dump the can of insect repellent and tea-tree oil. Give me constant hot water, clean towels and sweat free nights any time. I miss my bathroom.
Monday, February 07, 2005
It Stinks
Ok I am apologising yet again for the spelling mistakes in this post. I cannot seem to fathom the spell check - Well, Salvador does not facilitate such luxuries, so I will be checking and amending as soon as I reach civilisation. Which is not too far away, praise the Lord as it is raining again and it really does stink here. There are rumored to be about 2 million people in the area for carnival and I have only seen 10 portaloos to date so the picturesque roadsides in this historical center seem to be the only place for grown men to relieve themselves. This is not a generalisation, I am not being sexist, all women know we would do anything to avoid such public defecation (is that a word - I am sure spell check would have helped me out here). Yes, we women know that sometimes you even have to buy a sarni just so you can use some little cafe´s toilet. I have been in and out of these cafes for a few days now, and they are dirtier than the streets in some instances, perhaps the men are right. I am not happy about not being able to wear flip flops in this pee strewn city, especially since it is now hammering it down and the streets are home to rivers of unrine please get me back to civilisation.
We are in the historic centre again, we do like to revisit our favorite haunts. Last night´s dinner made us want to come back, even though the service was poor the onion soup made a lasting impression. The net cafe we are in is in a sort of religious centre, Sister Pascal´s picture is hanging above my head and there are notices stating ´´Proibido sites pornografico´´ dotted about. The toilets in here smell as bad as a sewage reprocessing plant and I have just deleted a whole posting in my dash for said loos, so am not in the best of moods.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and being a staunch Catholic girl I am giving up ash - IE smoking,(isn´t that what you are supposed to give up for Lent?) The dreaded weed will be no longer my lips best buddy. As I am not really a practicing Catholic some may know this ( no names mentioned) and I am a smoker why the sudden decision to quit, for 6 weeks?
Well, it has absolutely nowt to do with the tens of youths who seem to preach to me about the habit on a daily basis. I try to explain in broken Spanish that I have no dependents and I quite like the idea of spending my last days in a box, afterall they would be otherwise spent in an old person´s home dead or shouting ``nurse`` for hours just cause I wanted jam instead of marmalade on my cold toast. No it is not this intrusion of my life´s decision to satisfy every waking hour with at least one cancerous stick of pouting pleasure.
It is the harsh colour photos which occupy the entire pack of cigs in this country. Even though they are about 15 pence a pack here which does not stop everyone blagging them off you, they seem to have it sussed with the old shock tactics. This is my main reason for quitting, I am using Lent as a cover up.
I have seen a few pictures such as a little girl in the back of a car with inhaler in her mouth, a gammy leg and a dead rat and cockroach. One of the questions which I must ask myself is why the Mayor of London has not been informed of such a revolution? If smoking is so bad for rats why on earth doesn´t he do something about the fact that when in London you are never less than 3 foot away from a one? Ken Livingstone, get your arse to Brazil, stock up on duty frees and get the rats hooked. Gotta be a lot cheaper than Rentakill.
Talking of rats, I cannot believe that I have not seen one here yet considering it is such a smelly pee-ridden place.
Gotta go for a fag now - one of the last for 6 weeks.
We are in the historic centre again, we do like to revisit our favorite haunts. Last night´s dinner made us want to come back, even though the service was poor the onion soup made a lasting impression. The net cafe we are in is in a sort of religious centre, Sister Pascal´s picture is hanging above my head and there are notices stating ´´Proibido sites pornografico´´ dotted about. The toilets in here smell as bad as a sewage reprocessing plant and I have just deleted a whole posting in my dash for said loos, so am not in the best of moods.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and being a staunch Catholic girl I am giving up ash - IE smoking,(isn´t that what you are supposed to give up for Lent?) The dreaded weed will be no longer my lips best buddy. As I am not really a practicing Catholic some may know this ( no names mentioned) and I am a smoker why the sudden decision to quit, for 6 weeks?
Well, it has absolutely nowt to do with the tens of youths who seem to preach to me about the habit on a daily basis. I try to explain in broken Spanish that I have no dependents and I quite like the idea of spending my last days in a box, afterall they would be otherwise spent in an old person´s home dead or shouting ``nurse`` for hours just cause I wanted jam instead of marmalade on my cold toast. No it is not this intrusion of my life´s decision to satisfy every waking hour with at least one cancerous stick of pouting pleasure.
It is the harsh colour photos which occupy the entire pack of cigs in this country. Even though they are about 15 pence a pack here which does not stop everyone blagging them off you, they seem to have it sussed with the old shock tactics. This is my main reason for quitting, I am using Lent as a cover up.
I have seen a few pictures such as a little girl in the back of a car with inhaler in her mouth, a gammy leg and a dead rat and cockroach. One of the questions which I must ask myself is why the Mayor of London has not been informed of such a revolution? If smoking is so bad for rats why on earth doesn´t he do something about the fact that when in London you are never less than 3 foot away from a one? Ken Livingstone, get your arse to Brazil, stock up on duty frees and get the rats hooked. Gotta be a lot cheaper than Rentakill.
Talking of rats, I cannot believe that I have not seen one here yet considering it is such a smelly pee-ridden place.
Gotta go for a fag now - one of the last for 6 weeks.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Pelaghrini-Salvador´s Historical Wonderland
Hey -What up?
Just blogging-in to let you know I have not been subjected to any robber´s blatent attempts to stick their hand´s down my pants and grab the nearest thing they find. They would only be dissapointed as my entire knicker contents are a bent drivers licence - no I obtained it legally - It is just bent with all the thrusting into my knickers for the past five weeks; a cigarette lighter and a crumpled up 20 reais note. This little ensemble of goodies has been my life line since I arrived. The note will be framed for posterity upon my return and left for my grand children to admire, that is unless a robber does manage to nab it.
We are enjoyig carnival, but I must say Sarah is tyring of the same old, where are you from? How long are you here for? type of questioning, and is being positivly rude to the locals we have encountered. I am dying to get into the spirit of things but my ban on hard liquer is putting a dampner on this.(this is a due to a series of events only my nearest and dearest know about!)
I am sat in Pelaghrini - You hardened travellers wil instantly know my misspelling of this town, I must appologise for my incompitence but spelling was never my strongest point,and unfortunately spell check will not get me out of my error this time.*
Yes,I am extatic as I have finally found somewhere caled an internet cafe which sells coffee, food and lets you smoke while typing. They sell amazing cigars too, but I have no friends who smoke those sort of long instruments of death so will not be puchasing - plus I do not think my sweaty 20 reais will stretch to one somehow.
We have been an a bus today. For 1/2 an hour we searched down the coast to find the perfect beach to top up the tan. We read in a guide book that Flamenco beach was a winner, even if it did state the amount of raw sewage running from the Favelas (slums) into the ocean. It was shit - literally. We made ourselves make the best of a bad situation and pretended we were residents of a hotel. To use their pool facilities,which we did - finally I have a tan line! I must say the skimpy bikinis are not the fashion in this part of Brazil and we were subjected to a few funny looks but that did not get in the way of our tanathon session. Objective accomplished.
Carnival is too mad for the old lass Harper. I can not sleep without ear plugs, even if it is a meger repellant for the banging of drums and street vendors constant barks. People are looking very tired by day 4 of this festive extravagansa. I amhowever pleased to report no hangovers of yet,but I seem to have a constant ringing in my ears none the less.
Salvador is not a patch on Rio, I must say. The carnival is its only saving grace. My advice come to carnival with your drinking head firmly screwed on, as in a sober state there are only so many weirdos one can take.
* note. Spellcheck did not save me from anything in this blog as it has declined my frantic efforts to check this text. I just pray my english teacher is not reading this.
Just blogging-in to let you know I have not been subjected to any robber´s blatent attempts to stick their hand´s down my pants and grab the nearest thing they find. They would only be dissapointed as my entire knicker contents are a bent drivers licence - no I obtained it legally - It is just bent with all the thrusting into my knickers for the past five weeks; a cigarette lighter and a crumpled up 20 reais note. This little ensemble of goodies has been my life line since I arrived. The note will be framed for posterity upon my return and left for my grand children to admire, that is unless a robber does manage to nab it.
We are enjoyig carnival, but I must say Sarah is tyring of the same old, where are you from? How long are you here for? type of questioning, and is being positivly rude to the locals we have encountered. I am dying to get into the spirit of things but my ban on hard liquer is putting a dampner on this.(this is a due to a series of events only my nearest and dearest know about!)
I am sat in Pelaghrini - You hardened travellers wil instantly know my misspelling of this town, I must appologise for my incompitence but spelling was never my strongest point,and unfortunately spell check will not get me out of my error this time.*
Yes,I am extatic as I have finally found somewhere caled an internet cafe which sells coffee, food and lets you smoke while typing. They sell amazing cigars too, but I have no friends who smoke those sort of long instruments of death so will not be puchasing - plus I do not think my sweaty 20 reais will stretch to one somehow.
We have been an a bus today. For 1/2 an hour we searched down the coast to find the perfect beach to top up the tan. We read in a guide book that Flamenco beach was a winner, even if it did state the amount of raw sewage running from the Favelas (slums) into the ocean. It was shit - literally. We made ourselves make the best of a bad situation and pretended we were residents of a hotel. To use their pool facilities,which we did - finally I have a tan line! I must say the skimpy bikinis are not the fashion in this part of Brazil and we were subjected to a few funny looks but that did not get in the way of our tanathon session. Objective accomplished.
Carnival is too mad for the old lass Harper. I can not sleep without ear plugs, even if it is a meger repellant for the banging of drums and street vendors constant barks. People are looking very tired by day 4 of this festive extravagansa. I amhowever pleased to report no hangovers of yet,but I seem to have a constant ringing in my ears none the less.
Salvador is not a patch on Rio, I must say. The carnival is its only saving grace. My advice come to carnival with your drinking head firmly screwed on, as in a sober state there are only so many weirdos one can take.
* note. Spellcheck did not save me from anything in this blog as it has declined my frantic efforts to check this text. I just pray my english teacher is not reading this.
Friday, February 04, 2005
FIRST NIGHT IN SALVADOR
I AM IN HEAVEN.....
Hi guys,
Can not stay long as I have to get tan and it is boiling here, got here safe and spent the opening night of carnival in style. Looking out of a private bar on the beach watching the millions of revilers go by. I have so much to say and no time I am afraid, but I will let you know this is the biggest party in the world and it is absolutely brilliant. I wish life could be one big carnival. It is madness.
Saw 2 incidents of thieving - pick pocketing from our window view - and there are so many police they were on them straightaway.
We are not taking any risks and will be back tomorrow to tell the real story of last night's celebrations. All I am saying is the part is 24/7 and we are here for a week!
Hi guys,
Can not stay long as I have to get tan and it is boiling here, got here safe and spent the opening night of carnival in style. Looking out of a private bar on the beach watching the millions of revilers go by. I have so much to say and no time I am afraid, but I will let you know this is the biggest party in the world and it is absolutely brilliant. I wish life could be one big carnival. It is madness.
Saw 2 incidents of thieving - pick pocketing from our window view - and there are so many police they were on them straightaway.
We are not taking any risks and will be back tomorrow to tell the real story of last night's celebrations. All I am saying is the part is 24/7 and we are here for a week!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Best Friend´s Wedding
Hello my blogster budsters,
I have been too up my own arse to realise that I have a very special occasion coming up on 16th April. I have never forgot that I am due to be the Chief Bridesmaid at my best friend from Uni, Miss Leanne Dyas´ very special day. She is marrying Mr Richard (Richy) Lumb, with whom she has been Siamese-twinned to since 26/12/´94. ´Bout bloody time I hear you cry, my sentiments exactly.
Anyway, I have been receiving various emails regarding wedding venue hotel deals, hen nights and dress fittings for several months now. It does not seem 2 minutes ago since we were attending Fresher´s ball and discovering we were the only two people in York who spoke with a Yorkshire accent.
Now, the reason for this blog is to obviously give my sincere best wishes and congratulations and good luck with the plans and all that jazz, however my main concern is the speech!
Yes, speech. As chief bridesmaid and bestist of bestist friends in the whole wide world I have been nominated to make a speech. This is due to the fact that the Father of the Bride, Best Man and Groom are all absolutely petrified of making a complete and utter twat of themselves in public. Since I have been doing so for the past, well, when did I learn to talk? About 29 years, I seem to be the obvious choice to get the guests into a complete fit of fall of their balloon-decorated chairs with laughter and confirm how fantastic the families, couple, maids, caterers and Dave the DJ are, have been and will be.
I need a plan. I have been advised no rugby drinking type games (come on Leanne, a few toasts will be ´´traditional´´ and no photographs.
Now if you knew Leanne you would know that all the social and non-fascinating events since we commenced uni have been documented, in date order, in numbered photograph albums; they even have their own shelves in the office at her house. No photographs, why did she keep such a chronicle of our mad happenings then, if she did not want them blown up to poster size and exhibited around the very swish venue? Only joking babe. It is your special day and I promise not to show the one of you being sick in the ladies at Old John´s reunion - which you did actually post me a copy off - oh if only you could turn back the clock eh?
seriously you lot, I need help. I am not funny on command, I simply make people laugh when I am not pressured in any way. Now I am feeling the burn - Just before carnival as well, did you wanna spoil the last 10 days of my Brazil trip?
Anyone who knows Leanne or Richie for that matter have you any ideas - on a postcard please. No - email me harperjo@gmail.com. Do not post anything on the web, ´cause she is on it like a hawk.
I absolutely poohing my pants at the thought, seriously. It brings me back to my speech when I was contending against the great Alex AKA Bugsy for the hokey team´s Club captaincy post. Which I of course won - but that is not the point.
I have been too up my own arse to realise that I have a very special occasion coming up on 16th April. I have never forgot that I am due to be the Chief Bridesmaid at my best friend from Uni, Miss Leanne Dyas´ very special day. She is marrying Mr Richard (Richy) Lumb, with whom she has been Siamese-twinned to since 26/12/´94. ´Bout bloody time I hear you cry, my sentiments exactly.
Anyway, I have been receiving various emails regarding wedding venue hotel deals, hen nights and dress fittings for several months now. It does not seem 2 minutes ago since we were attending Fresher´s ball and discovering we were the only two people in York who spoke with a Yorkshire accent.
Now, the reason for this blog is to obviously give my sincere best wishes and congratulations and good luck with the plans and all that jazz, however my main concern is the speech!
Yes, speech. As chief bridesmaid and bestist of bestist friends in the whole wide world I have been nominated to make a speech. This is due to the fact that the Father of the Bride, Best Man and Groom are all absolutely petrified of making a complete and utter twat of themselves in public. Since I have been doing so for the past, well, when did I learn to talk? About 29 years, I seem to be the obvious choice to get the guests into a complete fit of fall of their balloon-decorated chairs with laughter and confirm how fantastic the families, couple, maids, caterers and Dave the DJ are, have been and will be.
I need a plan. I have been advised no rugby drinking type games (come on Leanne, a few toasts will be ´´traditional´´ and no photographs.
Now if you knew Leanne you would know that all the social and non-fascinating events since we commenced uni have been documented, in date order, in numbered photograph albums; they even have their own shelves in the office at her house. No photographs, why did she keep such a chronicle of our mad happenings then, if she did not want them blown up to poster size and exhibited around the very swish venue? Only joking babe. It is your special day and I promise not to show the one of you being sick in the ladies at Old John´s reunion - which you did actually post me a copy off - oh if only you could turn back the clock eh?
seriously you lot, I need help. I am not funny on command, I simply make people laugh when I am not pressured in any way. Now I am feeling the burn - Just before carnival as well, did you wanna spoil the last 10 days of my Brazil trip?
Anyone who knows Leanne or Richie for that matter have you any ideas - on a postcard please. No - email me harperjo@gmail.com. Do not post anything on the web, ´cause she is on it like a hawk.
I absolutely poohing my pants at the thought, seriously. It brings me back to my speech when I was contending against the great Alex AKA Bugsy for the hokey team´s Club captaincy post. Which I of course won - but that is not the point.
NEWS FLASH (DA DA DA DA DA DA DA)
It has stopped raining- Just to let you know I am once again the sunbathing queen of Rio - Not to be confused with the carnival queens. In fact I cannot stay long as the sand is summoning me.
It is our last day in Ipanema. I am pleased since we have exhausted things to do, been in all our favorite eateries at least 10 times each and we are ready to rock roll and rule (read this with a DLT accent please)in Salvador.
Now I must warn you, if you do not hear from me for a while, I will just be living la viva loca at the street parties - which apparently will be going on for the 8 nights (and days) I will be residing there.
Geeves...Pour me another Caprihana.
It is our last day in Ipanema. I am pleased since we have exhausted things to do, been in all our favorite eateries at least 10 times each and we are ready to rock roll and rule (read this with a DLT accent please)in Salvador.
Now I must warn you, if you do not hear from me for a while, I will just be living la viva loca at the street parties - which apparently will be going on for the 8 nights (and days) I will be residing there.
Geeves...Pour me another Caprihana.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
10 Things to Do In Rio In the Rain
1) Buy a nice pair of turn up 3/4 length jeans that make you feel like a new woman.
2) Buy 2 pairs of the oh so trendy, only available in Selfridges, London Havaianas flipflops in pink and black with Brazilian flag (for 3 quid each).
3) Try and buy cheapo underwear from Brazilian version of New Look, get really hot in the changing room because even though it is raining enough to keep a country the size of France in water for the next ten years, it is still 28 degrees F; then get disappointed as your new bra size is not available in any patterns you like and your best mate gets all the little cute bargain sets for herself.
4) Have a full-on pro pedicure with all the fancy instruments of dead hard skin torture for a mere 7 quid. (Mind you the actual painting could have been done better by Stevie Wonder).
5) Drink one of a plethora of juices - Just guess the names of them, this makes it much more interesting.
6) Write a Blog and thus spend shit loads of time in Dirty Net cafes, contracting a multitude of bugs, viruses (both types) and die of thirst due to the air con.*
7) Visit the Statue of Christ the Redeemer (did this on Sunday). Even though it is foggy and you cannot see the top of his head, you suddenly realise you have not been up there yet and you are off to Salvador for carnival on the 4th Feb.
8) Get lost in a Flavela - Slum place you are so warned about in all the books- This was not on my original list of things to do - however as we decided to hike back for over an hour from Christ the Redeemer, instead of getting the quaint little train we had a ticket for - just ´cause there was a break in the rain and it seemed like a great idea at the time.
9) Eat loads of weigh your own food for cheaper than McDonald's prices.
10) Learn Cee Lo Green and his Perfect Imperfections tracks 1-21 off by heart**, ***.
* Please can anyone elaborate as to why net cafes are called cafes? They do not sell cream teas, coffee or pop for that matter.
** I hope this one does not materialise we are due some sun please GOD! ihave mastered about 10 so far.
***Buy this album - Russell, since you are the only one to ever offer comment and you are the only one who is into tunes more than moi, make a purchase - He is a rapper from the South - a player - Shaggy, but fantastic!
2) Buy 2 pairs of the oh so trendy, only available in Selfridges, London Havaianas flipflops in pink and black with Brazilian flag (for 3 quid each).
3) Try and buy cheapo underwear from Brazilian version of New Look, get really hot in the changing room because even though it is raining enough to keep a country the size of France in water for the next ten years, it is still 28 degrees F; then get disappointed as your new bra size is not available in any patterns you like and your best mate gets all the little cute bargain sets for herself.
4) Have a full-on pro pedicure with all the fancy instruments of dead hard skin torture for a mere 7 quid. (Mind you the actual painting could have been done better by Stevie Wonder).
5) Drink one of a plethora of juices - Just guess the names of them, this makes it much more interesting.
6) Write a Blog and thus spend shit loads of time in Dirty Net cafes, contracting a multitude of bugs, viruses (both types) and die of thirst due to the air con.*
7) Visit the Statue of Christ the Redeemer (did this on Sunday). Even though it is foggy and you cannot see the top of his head, you suddenly realise you have not been up there yet and you are off to Salvador for carnival on the 4th Feb.
8) Get lost in a Flavela - Slum place you are so warned about in all the books- This was not on my original list of things to do - however as we decided to hike back for over an hour from Christ the Redeemer, instead of getting the quaint little train we had a ticket for - just ´cause there was a break in the rain and it seemed like a great idea at the time.
9) Eat loads of weigh your own food for cheaper than McDonald's prices.
10) Learn Cee Lo Green and his Perfect Imperfections tracks 1-21 off by heart**, ***.
* Please can anyone elaborate as to why net cafes are called cafes? They do not sell cream teas, coffee or pop for that matter.
** I hope this one does not materialise we are due some sun please GOD! ihave mastered about 10 so far.
***Buy this album - Russell, since you are the only one to ever offer comment and you are the only one who is into tunes more than moi, make a purchase - He is a rapper from the South - a player - Shaggy, but fantastic!
Photo - DIRTY NET
Ok there is finally a pic of Cocopabana Bach Rio - Do not ask me who took it - I found it on the PC in our not so favorite `Dirty Net´ cafe (flea ridden,however it is open ´till midnight so we love it).
Basically I have to use ´Hello Picasso´ to download pics. But you have to have your pics on the PC to make this simple (in theory) transaction and I have not got a Danny (Danny La Rue - Clue. Cockney slang again, sorry) how to it - without taking permanent residency in Dirty Net.
Although it is pissing it down for the 10th consecutive day - yeah - Laugh all you ant at least I am not working and it does not get dark until at least 8pm, I now cannot, even if I wanted to stay in Dirty Net for too Long due to a certain Rodriguez.
Last night I was typing like a fiend, pounding the keys with such intensity it sounded like I was stuck in a bomb blasted building trying to Morse code-it the hell out a there, and I noticed a stranger peering over his station. You know the typical ugly Brazilian? - Now that is hard to find, but I managed. As he moved to pay the cashier he approached me and asked if I was German. No comment! He then said he had emailed me on my hotmail account after peeping a look over my shoulder as I typed a PERSONAL email. "Sorry I am with a friend, please leave me alone", was my polite reply. I would have sworn but the only swearing they understand is Mother F*#@er and that is not in my usual repertoire! If you do know me - You will make a few stab in the dark guesses of a few choice ones, however will instantly know I never use that phrase. So off he went.
I immediately checked my hotmail account and sure enough he had mailed me saying he wanted to chat Is this what these cafes are coming to, a cheap and cheerful way to pull without the offer of even a beverage? Not that I am cheap, ´cause a kebab would have to be on offer if I was even gonna look at ya!
So picture the scene, Sarah is laughing as this guy had made a bit of a stir in the cafe,well,it was me gabbing it across the room telling her the tale that drew people´s attention to me, then the phone rang.
"Oi, you!" (cashier lady´s finger now pointing in my direction, then pointing at receiver).
"Me?"(along with the finger everyone in the cafe´s eyes were now pointing in my direction).
Immediately I thought I was getting a "Someone´s died you have to pack your ruck sack and get your ass back home" type of call.
"Oi, Jo, It´s Rodriguez, will you come drink now?"
"Do you know the translation for stalker?"
"Stoorka?"
"No, STALKER,LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY", and with that I slammed the phone down - well, you know, I have the full attention of the cafe by this point and with an audience, well, fair play!
So that was that little incident - I was shocked to say the least - Now if only it had been a Speedo wearing-even at midnight in the rain-horny-footvolley playing type of guy, it may have been a different story!
Basically I have to use ´Hello Picasso´ to download pics. But you have to have your pics on the PC to make this simple (in theory) transaction and I have not got a Danny (Danny La Rue - Clue. Cockney slang again, sorry) how to it - without taking permanent residency in Dirty Net.
Although it is pissing it down for the 10th consecutive day - yeah - Laugh all you ant at least I am not working and it does not get dark until at least 8pm, I now cannot, even if I wanted to stay in Dirty Net for too Long due to a certain Rodriguez.
Last night I was typing like a fiend, pounding the keys with such intensity it sounded like I was stuck in a bomb blasted building trying to Morse code-it the hell out a there, and I noticed a stranger peering over his station. You know the typical ugly Brazilian? - Now that is hard to find, but I managed. As he moved to pay the cashier he approached me and asked if I was German. No comment! He then said he had emailed me on my hotmail account after peeping a look over my shoulder as I typed a PERSONAL email. "Sorry I am with a friend, please leave me alone", was my polite reply. I would have sworn but the only swearing they understand is Mother F*#@er and that is not in my usual repertoire! If you do know me - You will make a few stab in the dark guesses of a few choice ones, however will instantly know I never use that phrase. So off he went.
I immediately checked my hotmail account and sure enough he had mailed me saying he wanted to chat Is this what these cafes are coming to, a cheap and cheerful way to pull without the offer of even a beverage? Not that I am cheap, ´cause a kebab would have to be on offer if I was even gonna look at ya!
So picture the scene, Sarah is laughing as this guy had made a bit of a stir in the cafe,well,it was me gabbing it across the room telling her the tale that drew people´s attention to me, then the phone rang.
"Oi, you!" (cashier lady´s finger now pointing in my direction, then pointing at receiver).
"Me?"(along with the finger everyone in the cafe´s eyes were now pointing in my direction).
Immediately I thought I was getting a "Someone´s died you have to pack your ruck sack and get your ass back home" type of call.
"Oi, Jo, It´s Rodriguez, will you come drink now?"
"Do you know the translation for stalker?"
"Stoorka?"
"No, STALKER,LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY", and with that I slammed the phone down - well, you know, I have the full attention of the cafe by this point and with an audience, well, fair play!
So that was that little incident - I was shocked to say the least - Now if only it had been a Speedo wearing-even at midnight in the rain-horny-footvolley playing type of guy, it may have been a different story!
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
www.skype.com
DEAR ALL YOU MUST LOG ONTO THE ABOVE SITE...
Basically since God decided to make all the angels cry at once I have been spending a lot of time in net cafes - it is cheap and keeps you dry - mind you I think I may have contracted scabies in this place as I have been itching since I got in - Anyway one good thing comes out off all this itching, rain and blogging - I was listening to a geeky guy in this cafe - he had headphones on - not unusual I know - I am usually donning a pair of sweaty God only knows how many scabby gits have worn ´em headphones myself. I could hear him talking to someone through his mike - I had to ask him what the score was and he showed me this site.
It is a FREE way of calling people from your PC - There is a spec regarding memory space and I think you need broadband, however if you log on and sign up and you want to talk to someone else who has registered it is free to call them!
Not only that, if you want to call someone who has not got it (there is a fee) but, if you have an account you pay as you go (ie put credit on your account with your credit card). You only have a price to pay for the country you are calling. Not the country you are calling from eg. If you are in Brazil - Oh lucky me I am, and if you wish to call the USA it is only 1 pence a minute! Which is the same as if you were in the USA calling the USA - and mobile rates are the same!
Get on the site to check it out at least.
I think I will be on it often as it is so hard to call people from this country, I have had full on fights with at least four phone boxes (well big blue pods) on the streets since I arrived. There is no such thing as an operator here and you can only get phone cards that last a second especially calling the UK.
I am finally getting into the technological world, it is weird really as we had just heard of email when I started uni back in 1994! My gosh I know how my gran must have felt when cars were invented - Soz gran I know you are not that old! I know she will be reading this as she is probably more advanced on a pc than me by now - I understand my grandad was having lessons from a very patient man just before Xmas - so he´s probably blogging grandma now!
Basically since God decided to make all the angels cry at once I have been spending a lot of time in net cafes - it is cheap and keeps you dry - mind you I think I may have contracted scabies in this place as I have been itching since I got in - Anyway one good thing comes out off all this itching, rain and blogging - I was listening to a geeky guy in this cafe - he had headphones on - not unusual I know - I am usually donning a pair of sweaty God only knows how many scabby gits have worn ´em headphones myself. I could hear him talking to someone through his mike - I had to ask him what the score was and he showed me this site.
It is a FREE way of calling people from your PC - There is a spec regarding memory space and I think you need broadband, however if you log on and sign up and you want to talk to someone else who has registered it is free to call them!
Not only that, if you want to call someone who has not got it (there is a fee) but, if you have an account you pay as you go (ie put credit on your account with your credit card). You only have a price to pay for the country you are calling. Not the country you are calling from eg. If you are in Brazil - Oh lucky me I am, and if you wish to call the USA it is only 1 pence a minute! Which is the same as if you were in the USA calling the USA - and mobile rates are the same!
Get on the site to check it out at least.
I think I will be on it often as it is so hard to call people from this country, I have had full on fights with at least four phone boxes (well big blue pods) on the streets since I arrived. There is no such thing as an operator here and you can only get phone cards that last a second especially calling the UK.
I am finally getting into the technological world, it is weird really as we had just heard of email when I started uni back in 1994! My gosh I know how my gran must have felt when cars were invented - Soz gran I know you are not that old! I know she will be reading this as she is probably more advanced on a pc than me by now - I understand my grandad was having lessons from a very patient man just before Xmas - so he´s probably blogging grandma now!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I HAVE MADE MY MOST REGRETTABLE PURCHASE YET...
AN UMBRELLA!
I can hear the laughter from here - Yeah, yeah, yeah - I bought a brolly today, and I am wearing a full tracksuit - No not a shell my friends but my very suave pink and black number mummy bought me for Xmas. So not only do I have an umbrella but a long sleeved top. It is not 21 degrees f I thought you may be interested in learning that Sarah and I have run out of ideas since we already had lunch and the beach is open for aquatic sports only - Did not fancy footvolley in the rain.
Hence we are now in the net cafe AGAIN - I am getting sick of it in here and must say there is a lack of communication from some of my nearest and dearest (you know who you are). I am currently downloading my photographs onto Fotango.com, which sees to be much better than Picasso - a site I have had it up to here with (imagine hand gesture - hovering above head). So you may be lucky and see some gorgeous gals having the time of our lives - no we have not brought the camera out today.
We are trying to find something to do in the rain - we have contemplated the cinema - but are not sure if the programs are in English, I really wish we could see some sort of cinematic production as I have not seen real TV or a movie for 3 months now. I must say I am even concidering logging onto Corronationstreet.com to see what dear old Mavis is up to - Her life must me worse than the weather in Rio - I need cheering up.
Another activity we contemplated was bowling - Now I have never thought myself as the bowling sort, even when I lived opposite a bowling alley, so why in heaven´s name I would want to do that here?
What are girls best at? Boys please no posting re this matter! Shopping. Sarah and I seem to be quite knowledgeable in this field and have spent an hour or so browsing in beauty shops comparing prices. Did you know for example Lancolm is 3 x as much as here than it is in the UK and this means 6 x as much as it is in the US. Thrilling reading I bet - Now, most of you have probably logged off - I can tell you what I really think of all you sad miserable gits.
While I watch the rain I remember home, it is 14 weeks since I was last in the garden of England, Kent, in my own garden, desperately trying to do the weeding before I flew to California - and I must say I am wondering how my climbing Jasmin and rose pagoda are fairing up in the winter storms... Well, if you can here me my little dolls - mummy will be home to prune you in the spring.
I can hear the laughter from here - Yeah, yeah, yeah - I bought a brolly today, and I am wearing a full tracksuit - No not a shell my friends but my very suave pink and black number mummy bought me for Xmas. So not only do I have an umbrella but a long sleeved top. It is not 21 degrees f I thought you may be interested in learning that Sarah and I have run out of ideas since we already had lunch and the beach is open for aquatic sports only - Did not fancy footvolley in the rain.
Hence we are now in the net cafe AGAIN - I am getting sick of it in here and must say there is a lack of communication from some of my nearest and dearest (you know who you are). I am currently downloading my photographs onto Fotango.com, which sees to be much better than Picasso - a site I have had it up to here with (imagine hand gesture - hovering above head). So you may be lucky and see some gorgeous gals having the time of our lives - no we have not brought the camera out today.
We are trying to find something to do in the rain - we have contemplated the cinema - but are not sure if the programs are in English, I really wish we could see some sort of cinematic production as I have not seen real TV or a movie for 3 months now. I must say I am even concidering logging onto Corronationstreet.com to see what dear old Mavis is up to - Her life must me worse than the weather in Rio - I need cheering up.
Another activity we contemplated was bowling - Now I have never thought myself as the bowling sort, even when I lived opposite a bowling alley, so why in heaven´s name I would want to do that here?
What are girls best at? Boys please no posting re this matter! Shopping. Sarah and I seem to be quite knowledgeable in this field and have spent an hour or so browsing in beauty shops comparing prices. Did you know for example Lancolm is 3 x as much as here than it is in the UK and this means 6 x as much as it is in the US. Thrilling reading I bet - Now, most of you have probably logged off - I can tell you what I really think of all you sad miserable gits.
While I watch the rain I remember home, it is 14 weeks since I was last in the garden of England, Kent, in my own garden, desperately trying to do the weeding before I flew to California - and I must say I am wondering how my climbing Jasmin and rose pagoda are fairing up in the winter storms... Well, if you can here me my little dolls - mummy will be home to prune you in the spring.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Iguassu Falls
Ola, my blogster buddies - I am just letting you in on a secret...IF YOU EVER WANNA SEE A WATERFALL GET YER BUMS TO ARGENTINA TO SEE THE FOZ DU IGUAZU. Or Iguassu Falls to us mere foreigners.
Sarah and I have been in heaven - We flew from Rio to Foz Du Iguazu on Monday morning and it was hammering it down - All be it sub-tropical hammering - Which is akin to the usual wet stuff except it is hot rain and one is not frowned upon for wearing bikinis and plastic ponchos!
For $35 between us we stayed in a 4 star hotel 400m from the National Park on the Brazilian side of the falls. The place was clean, had a pool, shovel loads of hectares of gorgeousness and a tennis court. Not to mention the bar, restaurant, pool room movie room and massage parlor. Mind you it still smelt like our apartment - which I have changed my mind on now - making a comparison to a boy´s locker room was a gross understatement. The smell is urine - I think they have toilet hygiene inadequacies in this country. But it did not put us off - and as far as all the hotels facilities went - we frequented the bar and restaurant only!
I would have blogged from there however the lady in the pc room had a thing for Americans - IE severe disliking, and put me in the North American´s and how to act like a complete B with them sector; hence was completely unhelpful and I had to leave the shop before she knew for sure I was a Northerner (only Northerners will get this - Scottish kiss comes to mind).
Monday was filled with excitement as we boarded the bus through the sub-tropical rain forest - which was slightly ruined by a huge pink hotel slap bang in the middle - however needs must. It was 4 quid to get in which was a bargain, but the rain put a total dampener on it and we had restricted views. However my friends, we did not let this put us off - I have about 5 cigs a caffe con leche and a few mins on their email (one in which the lady behind the desk was very courteous and did not mind taking mucho dinero from me). Hey are you impressed with my Portish (Portuguese come Spanish)?
Anyway, the falls were amazing - Loads of photo opportunities - even stretching the limitations of my Memory Card - but worth it if only for sheer - ´show and tell´ tales for mates upon my return!
But the best day was Yesterday, we got ourselves on a tour of the falls on the Argentinean side as soon as we had landed and was a bit dubious once we had booked as to what exactly safari tour, forest walking, lunch and power boat ride would entail - especially since we had only paid about the same as we would for a few loaves and fish in Safeways for the pleasure. ´
Sarah´s main concern was the lunch aspect, as she´s a vegi and the Argentinean´s are known for their liking of BBQ fodder.
We started the trip in a rickety old van with 2 Israelis and 2 Italians. No English was spoken for the 30 min trip to the park however Jo´s secret weapon of understanding a multitude of languages - (well, when it comes to niceties and asking for lighters and ashtrays), came in handy and I managed to amuse myself silently. Yeah right you scoff - No honestly I kept it shut for 30 mins. Please consult Norris McThwerter on that those who have absolutely bugger all else to do.
Back to it - I have already had complaints these things are too long - I can not help it - there is more to yak on about here than there is in any country where you have to work right now!
Ok, OK, I am back on track.
Safari Trip - excellent talk on flora and fauna (insects if u did not know cause I did not and I am a gardener).
Boat Ride - wicked - went on a speed dinghy - with about 20 people - baptism of water under one of the minor falls and a right old laugh with the driver after. Bikinis and life vests are not a good combo - Just a tip - try and avoid this at all costs - chaffing not v nice.
Sub Tropical walk - fantastic - saw loads of weird animals - lizards, turtles, raccoon thingies, something else I will have to refer my hand book on to recall the name of and loads of beautiful butterflies.
Finally - The falls - Diablo Falls, Argentina, is by far the most amazing thing I have ever seen, well, apart from Brad Pitt in Troy (that is actually a lie as I have not seen that movie - comic effect - permissible?. Hey is it true about Brad and Jen by the way? Kinda loosing touch here as there are NO English written papers etc.
So all in all we had a super duper trooper time and I would recommend the trip to anyone - as many of my traveling buddies have sang before - One of the 7 modern wonders of the world in fact, second highest falls in fact, still smells of pee though!
Sarah and I have been in heaven - We flew from Rio to Foz Du Iguazu on Monday morning and it was hammering it down - All be it sub-tropical hammering - Which is akin to the usual wet stuff except it is hot rain and one is not frowned upon for wearing bikinis and plastic ponchos!
For $35 between us we stayed in a 4 star hotel 400m from the National Park on the Brazilian side of the falls. The place was clean, had a pool, shovel loads of hectares of gorgeousness and a tennis court. Not to mention the bar, restaurant, pool room movie room and massage parlor. Mind you it still smelt like our apartment - which I have changed my mind on now - making a comparison to a boy´s locker room was a gross understatement. The smell is urine - I think they have toilet hygiene inadequacies in this country. But it did not put us off - and as far as all the hotels facilities went - we frequented the bar and restaurant only!
I would have blogged from there however the lady in the pc room had a thing for Americans - IE severe disliking, and put me in the North American´s and how to act like a complete B with them sector; hence was completely unhelpful and I had to leave the shop before she knew for sure I was a Northerner (only Northerners will get this - Scottish kiss comes to mind).
Monday was filled with excitement as we boarded the bus through the sub-tropical rain forest - which was slightly ruined by a huge pink hotel slap bang in the middle - however needs must. It was 4 quid to get in which was a bargain, but the rain put a total dampener on it and we had restricted views. However my friends, we did not let this put us off - I have about 5 cigs a caffe con leche and a few mins on their email (one in which the lady behind the desk was very courteous and did not mind taking mucho dinero from me). Hey are you impressed with my Portish (Portuguese come Spanish)?
Anyway, the falls were amazing - Loads of photo opportunities - even stretching the limitations of my Memory Card - but worth it if only for sheer - ´show and tell´ tales for mates upon my return!
But the best day was Yesterday, we got ourselves on a tour of the falls on the Argentinean side as soon as we had landed and was a bit dubious once we had booked as to what exactly safari tour, forest walking, lunch and power boat ride would entail - especially since we had only paid about the same as we would for a few loaves and fish in Safeways for the pleasure. ´
Sarah´s main concern was the lunch aspect, as she´s a vegi and the Argentinean´s are known for their liking of BBQ fodder.
We started the trip in a rickety old van with 2 Israelis and 2 Italians. No English was spoken for the 30 min trip to the park however Jo´s secret weapon of understanding a multitude of languages - (well, when it comes to niceties and asking for lighters and ashtrays), came in handy and I managed to amuse myself silently. Yeah right you scoff - No honestly I kept it shut for 30 mins. Please consult Norris McThwerter on that those who have absolutely bugger all else to do.
Back to it - I have already had complaints these things are too long - I can not help it - there is more to yak on about here than there is in any country where you have to work right now!
Ok, OK, I am back on track.
Safari Trip - excellent talk on flora and fauna (insects if u did not know cause I did not and I am a gardener).
Boat Ride - wicked - went on a speed dinghy - with about 20 people - baptism of water under one of the minor falls and a right old laugh with the driver after. Bikinis and life vests are not a good combo - Just a tip - try and avoid this at all costs - chaffing not v nice.
Sub Tropical walk - fantastic - saw loads of weird animals - lizards, turtles, raccoon thingies, something else I will have to refer my hand book on to recall the name of and loads of beautiful butterflies.
Finally - The falls - Diablo Falls, Argentina, is by far the most amazing thing I have ever seen, well, apart from Brad Pitt in Troy (that is actually a lie as I have not seen that movie - comic effect - permissible?. Hey is it true about Brad and Jen by the way? Kinda loosing touch here as there are NO English written papers etc.
So all in all we had a super duper trooper time and I would recommend the trip to anyone - as many of my traveling buddies have sang before - One of the 7 modern wonders of the world in fact, second highest falls in fact, still smells of pee though!
Friday, January 21, 2005
Blanket of Cloud!
There has been a blanket of cloud over our beach (Note I have claimed this small patch of Paradise as my own) since Monday and to tell you the truth I am not happy. Although my sleeping has digressed to my student days and my eating and toilet habits are back to normality I am slightly peeved at the lack of sun. Now I know most of you are drudging through snow back in Blighty and the days have no day light what so ever (my small violin plays just for you)- The most annoying aspect of this dreary gloom which has descended on us is that it is still too hot. Too hot and no tan to show for it - merely loads of sweaty towels, sheets and socks - Our apartment has a strange boys locker room smell to it and we have a cleaner on a Monday so are not inclined to do any house work ourselves in order to appease the situation. Plus no boys have been anywhere near the place so we are getting slightly paranoid now.
We did have a few hours on the beach yesterday however. Even though our white bits are as big as the goal mouth in a Subutio football pitch we are not happy that the white bits are no longer hugely contrasted with our brown bits if you get my drift. So even though it had been thundering only hours before we decided to brave the beach. Imagine this - Sarah laying on her tummy in the sand face down in sarong with no sand on her whatsoever. Me sitting up in a deck chair (one which reclines - we are in Rio dharlings) which is my new mode of sunbathing as I can not be trusted laying down especially when sand keeps interfering with my I-Pod. It is all calm around us - even the vendors have stopped chanting their usual mantra ``Matte, Limon, Coco, Coca Light``, suddenly the heavens open and we sit there,, well, for a minute until we pinch ourselves and realize - yeah it is as wet as a Wednesday in Wigan!
Sarah made a run under a brolly and I placed my sarong over my head until the rain passed. This happened once more - then we resigned ourselves to the fact no more tanning today and went to our favorite haunt Felicia - cafe come ice cream parlor and had an ice cream cocktail. Mine was called Sophia Lauren, which refreshed my glamourous side and I was nearly restored to my former self - Even if my fringe was slapped down onto my forehead and the pink dye from the sarong was dripping down my legs.
We did have a few hours on the beach yesterday however. Even though our white bits are as big as the goal mouth in a Subutio football pitch we are not happy that the white bits are no longer hugely contrasted with our brown bits if you get my drift. So even though it had been thundering only hours before we decided to brave the beach. Imagine this - Sarah laying on her tummy in the sand face down in sarong with no sand on her whatsoever. Me sitting up in a deck chair (one which reclines - we are in Rio dharlings) which is my new mode of sunbathing as I can not be trusted laying down especially when sand keeps interfering with my I-Pod. It is all calm around us - even the vendors have stopped chanting their usual mantra ``Matte, Limon, Coco, Coca Light``, suddenly the heavens open and we sit there,, well, for a minute until we pinch ourselves and realize - yeah it is as wet as a Wednesday in Wigan!
Sarah made a run under a brolly and I placed my sarong over my head until the rain passed. This happened once more - then we resigned ourselves to the fact no more tanning today and went to our favorite haunt Felicia - cafe come ice cream parlor and had an ice cream cocktail. Mine was called Sophia Lauren, which refreshed my glamourous side and I was nearly restored to my former self - Even if my fringe was slapped down onto my forehead and the pink dye from the sarong was dripping down my legs.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Would you Adam and Eve it?
I was standing outside a bar in the rain - yes laugh - the actual humorous side of this was I was wearing my beautiful crease free white cotton trousers - for the first time since I packed them on October 15th, which are usually worn with chunky monkey wedge heels and therefore needed turn ups the size of a 2 story house to accommodate my Birkenstocks. Anyway - these have been soaking in the shower for 2 days now and still have inches of black street scum all over the temporary hem - If I ever do wear them again with wedges this scum ring will come up about knee height. Why cann´t I have anything decent? That is a whole new blog.
Back to the point which is what? Oh yeah - sorry I must digress again - the man in the net cafe who takes all your cash in return for a few minutes of electronic communication has just fallen off his chair - in such a manor John Cleese would have been proud of - I am grunting like a pig - apt really as I am wearing pigtails today.
OK - would you Adam and Eve it (American readers this is Cockney rhyming slang for believe)? I was standing in the pouring rain - Not waiting for Jesus or Jane as LLoyd Cole once put it - but waiting for an Irish guy who had befriended us in the cafe and wanted English speaking companions for one night, as his Portuguese was non existent and he had heard me ranting and raving on the telephone and obviously knew a good crack when he heard it! He was called either Frank or Jerry anyway this is not important as he stood us up - Cheek of it! Mind you my parting words to him when arranging a time to meet were ´´You know you have no chance of getting off with either of us!´´, so maybe he had imagined an evening listening to two Yorkshire lasses ranting on while he supplied a constant flow of drinks with no end result if you get my drift.
Right - I am there now - the point of this blog - While waiting for Frank Jerry, Jerry Frank a man asked me if I was Jo? ´´Yes´´ - I timidly replied! - Well he continued with the fact he was a friend of a friend of mine from A´level college and he had been told to look out for a Northerner with big boobs. You can imagine my surprise as they have shrunk and are merely a shadow of their former selves - as you know from previous posts - So this encounter made my day - My bosoms are still ample enough for a complete stranger to recognize me on this ´´pointer´´ alone.
Back to the point which is what? Oh yeah - sorry I must digress again - the man in the net cafe who takes all your cash in return for a few minutes of electronic communication has just fallen off his chair - in such a manor John Cleese would have been proud of - I am grunting like a pig - apt really as I am wearing pigtails today.
OK - would you Adam and Eve it (American readers this is Cockney rhyming slang for believe)? I was standing in the pouring rain - Not waiting for Jesus or Jane as LLoyd Cole once put it - but waiting for an Irish guy who had befriended us in the cafe and wanted English speaking companions for one night, as his Portuguese was non existent and he had heard me ranting and raving on the telephone and obviously knew a good crack when he heard it! He was called either Frank or Jerry anyway this is not important as he stood us up - Cheek of it! Mind you my parting words to him when arranging a time to meet were ´´You know you have no chance of getting off with either of us!´´, so maybe he had imagined an evening listening to two Yorkshire lasses ranting on while he supplied a constant flow of drinks with no end result if you get my drift.
Right - I am there now - the point of this blog - While waiting for Frank Jerry, Jerry Frank a man asked me if I was Jo? ´´Yes´´ - I timidly replied! - Well he continued with the fact he was a friend of a friend of mine from A´level college and he had been told to look out for a Northerner with big boobs. You can imagine my surprise as they have shrunk and are merely a shadow of their former selves - as you know from previous posts - So this encounter made my day - My bosoms are still ample enough for a complete stranger to recognize me on this ´´pointer´´ alone.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Gosh is it Wednesday Already?
Ok cultural time now - I will not bore you with intimate details of my day in the cultural centre of Rio - Simply tell you a little about the places of interest I have visited - it was not all fun because today I must admit I was not too happy about carrying my Sony 5 million mega pixel, movie maker camera around - even if it was in a plastic bag. It was a necessity however as the architecture and decorations were something else - Well, when one compares them to the sights we have seen lazing on the beach -ie vendors (must elaborate on these little monkeys one day). Yes - we were now aware why the guide book´s and fellow traveler´s hollered constant warnings of ´´Don´t look to touristy´´. Basically we stuck out like a Koala Bear in the Antarctic - We were SO British - Sarah disagrees with this point - stating she´s more Scandinavian (well, don´t they travel too?) and I could pass for a local now I am as brown as that Magic Ice squeeze on ice-cream topping we used to get as kids.
The street people´s interpretation of our appearance seemed to shout out TOURISTS - Especially when we were seen reading a 10´ squared Rio Map - (and that was only on a scale of 1´´ to a mile - Rio is gigantic). A local lady, who´s name I did ask but immediately forgot as it was not Mary or Lucy came up to us as we sat with this monstrosity of a map spread fully open while squinting for the street we were on - that was after we strained to locate a street sign amid the maddening rush of of busses, taxis and mad-peddlers (delivery boys) on their coal cart-type bikes. She said ``Tourists put map down and tell me where you go?``, beauty - we had it made in the shade (shade of the map that is - there is no actual shade in this city)- she took us to our place of interest - Which was the Theatro Municipal, and that´s the cultural pinnacle of our trip today. If you are interested I am sure they have a web site - I have decided to keep all the details of my interpretations of this wonderful place to myself - well, I cannot let you have all the content of my future book for free can I?
The street people´s interpretation of our appearance seemed to shout out TOURISTS - Especially when we were seen reading a 10´ squared Rio Map - (and that was only on a scale of 1´´ to a mile - Rio is gigantic). A local lady, who´s name I did ask but immediately forgot as it was not Mary or Lucy came up to us as we sat with this monstrosity of a map spread fully open while squinting for the street we were on - that was after we strained to locate a street sign amid the maddening rush of of busses, taxis and mad-peddlers (delivery boys) on their coal cart-type bikes. She said ``Tourists put map down and tell me where you go?``, beauty - we had it made in the shade (shade of the map that is - there is no actual shade in this city)- she took us to our place of interest - Which was the Theatro Municipal, and that´s the cultural pinnacle of our trip today. If you are interested I am sure they have a web site - I have decided to keep all the details of my interpretations of this wonderful place to myself - well, I cannot let you have all the content of my future book for free can I?
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
OK Keep Your Hairs On
All you Brits complaining on email about why I have not written for a while? I don´t know - Keep your hair on - Well - there´s no need for waxing in Winter is there girlies?
It´s hard in heaven getting up off my lazy bum and coming to these disease ridden net cafes to type a blog - I know I leave to gasping for more - but what can I say - Just hope you feel that way about my book - and snap up 10 copies each once it´s published - When ever that will be I do not know - The rate I am going a snail with dyslexia could do better!
Anyway - one word of advice to any 3rd world would-be travelers - Bring that liquid hand sanitizer with you - The things I have seen people doing on their keyboards in these cafes leaves absolutely nowt to the imagination - Most bars and resaurants have bins for loo used loo roll so you do not flush it away - Hummmm hope you are not reading this while eating your breakfast while pretending to do work at your desks!
The past few days have been a bit cloudy - Ah well, gave us an opportunity to look in all the wonderful shop - Unfortunately only Sarah could afford the dresses and jewels I kept admiring - In fact she has just come back from the jewelers with a beauty Blue Topaz ring - really snazzy and gorgeous. If only me the poor landscape gardener would have trimmed a few more bushes before I left blighty.
We were supposed to go up the Christo statue yesterday - but we were running around like flies of the blue assed variety trying to get Sarah a flight to Peru.
Oh - while I'm on that point - I am slowly reading (as not to finish my book too soon and have to depend on only News Week for English language stimulation) Che Guevara´s Motor Cycle Diaries - which is quite apt for Sarah - as she will be continuing her 6 month trip to Peru and Argentina after I depart back to the States on the 12th Feb. and that´´s where he is at present (in the book of course) freezing his Nads off up Mount Pitchy Pooh Pooh - that reminds me of my last Blog but I won´t elaborate - Oh - well, if I must...
Update on Loo Situation.
All good - after eating properly for the 1st time in 2 weeks - I will give you a quick run down..
Irish Breakfast in The Irish Bar of all places - this constituted of American bacon (yeah - poor substitute I know), butter beans in a weird home made sauce, fried egg, fried bread, sausage and fried tomatoes. cost 2.50 GBP
Then for dinner in Pedra Arde - fillet Mignon, jacket potato with lashings of sour cream, salad and a bloody Mary - cost 5.00 GBP.
So Russell - you were correct in your comments about too much water - juice and salad - I did not read your advice on not eating for 2 days and drinking Imodium - Not that I would have taken it anyway - I needed real food - Red meat and what ever it is they can have the balls to call what they squeeze into sausages these days.
Well, I am off now - to the centre of Rio - Ohhh scarey - our first time into the old cultural part of the city - If I never blog again - you know I have been ambushed al for the sake of my digi-camera.
I will be posting pics soon by the way - It takes lots of time and expert pc knowledge to do this- I have neither - So laters,
Jo
It´s hard in heaven getting up off my lazy bum and coming to these disease ridden net cafes to type a blog - I know I leave to gasping for more - but what can I say - Just hope you feel that way about my book - and snap up 10 copies each once it´s published - When ever that will be I do not know - The rate I am going a snail with dyslexia could do better!
Anyway - one word of advice to any 3rd world would-be travelers - Bring that liquid hand sanitizer with you - The things I have seen people doing on their keyboards in these cafes leaves absolutely nowt to the imagination - Most bars and resaurants have bins for loo used loo roll so you do not flush it away - Hummmm hope you are not reading this while eating your breakfast while pretending to do work at your desks!
The past few days have been a bit cloudy - Ah well, gave us an opportunity to look in all the wonderful shop - Unfortunately only Sarah could afford the dresses and jewels I kept admiring - In fact she has just come back from the jewelers with a beauty Blue Topaz ring - really snazzy and gorgeous. If only me the poor landscape gardener would have trimmed a few more bushes before I left blighty.
We were supposed to go up the Christo statue yesterday - but we were running around like flies of the blue assed variety trying to get Sarah a flight to Peru.
Oh - while I'm on that point - I am slowly reading (as not to finish my book too soon and have to depend on only News Week for English language stimulation) Che Guevara´s Motor Cycle Diaries - which is quite apt for Sarah - as she will be continuing her 6 month trip to Peru and Argentina after I depart back to the States on the 12th Feb. and that´´s where he is at present (in the book of course) freezing his Nads off up Mount Pitchy Pooh Pooh - that reminds me of my last Blog but I won´t elaborate - Oh - well, if I must...
Update on Loo Situation.
All good - after eating properly for the 1st time in 2 weeks - I will give you a quick run down..
Irish Breakfast in The Irish Bar of all places - this constituted of American bacon (yeah - poor substitute I know), butter beans in a weird home made sauce, fried egg, fried bread, sausage and fried tomatoes. cost 2.50 GBP
Then for dinner in Pedra Arde - fillet Mignon, jacket potato with lashings of sour cream, salad and a bloody Mary - cost 5.00 GBP.
So Russell - you were correct in your comments about too much water - juice and salad - I did not read your advice on not eating for 2 days and drinking Imodium - Not that I would have taken it anyway - I needed real food - Red meat and what ever it is they can have the balls to call what they squeeze into sausages these days.
Well, I am off now - to the centre of Rio - Ohhh scarey - our first time into the old cultural part of the city - If I never blog again - you know I have been ambushed al for the sake of my digi-camera.
I will be posting pics soon by the way - It takes lots of time and expert pc knowledge to do this- I have neither - So laters,
Jo
Friday, January 14, 2005
Can Anyone Help Me?
Dear All,
I have a mad triangular red rash at the base of my spine, now it could be prickly heat but it does not itch and my skin is not burned (any more that is - the whole of my back has peeled since I burned on day 2!). I am also suffering from diarrhea - Now don't laugh this posting is not of the usual candor - IE I am not trying to make anyone laugh - merely trying to gain medical advice. I have been eating salads (yeah - I know worse thing to eat in 3rd world country) and drinking copious amounts of water - fruit juices etc. I have had this rash for a day and the toilet probs since I arrived on the 4th Jan. I have had Hep B, Yellow fever and another injection - cannot remember the name now - as it is late and I have exhausted al energies on the beach - yet again - (Well, actually I went to the launderette too so did something constructive) - So any of you traveling types had this rashy thingie?
I also know for a fact no mossys have bitten my flesh as I have been spraying that stinky Deet induced spray on for weeks now - No change of letting the French perfume getting any recognition - I smell like a clinic in fact.
Humm - I did drink sangria last night and that is the 1st glass of anything involving Brazilian so-called wine - could that be it?
Email comments to me directly if you are too scared to post anything on here
harperjo@gmail.com
Meanwhile - I met a bead seller on the beach called Claudio Suarez Jimenez and he wants to take Sarah and I on a flat topped mountain with a Sphinx to meditate. Could that be a chat up line or is he really into meditation? Humm - I am not sure but bought a pair of ear rings from him any how - I will keep you informed on that one. Gotta go - Need to look up rashes on the net.
Late x
I have a mad triangular red rash at the base of my spine, now it could be prickly heat but it does not itch and my skin is not burned (any more that is - the whole of my back has peeled since I burned on day 2!). I am also suffering from diarrhea - Now don't laugh this posting is not of the usual candor - IE I am not trying to make anyone laugh - merely trying to gain medical advice. I have been eating salads (yeah - I know worse thing to eat in 3rd world country) and drinking copious amounts of water - fruit juices etc. I have had this rash for a day and the toilet probs since I arrived on the 4th Jan. I have had Hep B, Yellow fever and another injection - cannot remember the name now - as it is late and I have exhausted al energies on the beach - yet again - (Well, actually I went to the launderette too so did something constructive) - So any of you traveling types had this rashy thingie?
I also know for a fact no mossys have bitten my flesh as I have been spraying that stinky Deet induced spray on for weeks now - No change of letting the French perfume getting any recognition - I smell like a clinic in fact.
Humm - I did drink sangria last night and that is the 1st glass of anything involving Brazilian so-called wine - could that be it?
Email comments to me directly if you are too scared to post anything on here
harperjo@gmail.com
Meanwhile - I met a bead seller on the beach called Claudio Suarez Jimenez and he wants to take Sarah and I on a flat topped mountain with a Sphinx to meditate. Could that be a chat up line or is he really into meditation? Humm - I am not sure but bought a pair of ear rings from him any how - I will keep you informed on that one. Gotta go - Need to look up rashes on the net.
Late x
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